I headed to our room and stopped in the doorway, a smile lighting my face. Richard was asleep, his head resting against the headboard, his snore low and steady. Gracie was curled up on his chest, her little arm flung over him, barely reaching midway. She was spread across the bed in her usual starfish position. The book they’d been reading was on the floor. I slipped my phone from my pocket and snapped a picture, wanting to capture the sweet memory to show Richard later. Carefully, I picked up Gracie and carried her to her room, tucking her in. I knew she had to be exhausted when she didn’t stir. I kissed her and ran my hand through her wild curls and made sure the monitor was on.
Back in our room, I picked up the book and set it on the table. Richard hadn’t moved. Today, I had seen how hard he pushed himself. The exercises, the parallel bars, the pool. Plus, he worked with Colin and had a session with Randy. I knew how emotionally drained the sessions left him, and he had been quieter the rest of the day, but no less affectionate. After dinner, he had reached for my hand as we sipped coffee and watched the girls play. Gracie was doing a puppet show for Heather, who chortled and waved her hands, making Gracie laugh.
“Would you consider sitting in on a few sessions with me, Katy?” he asked, not meeting my eyes. “Randy thinks it would do us good to talk about some things together.”
I tapped his knee, thrilled when he felt my touch and looked up. “I would like to. I was going to ask if I could.”
He breathed out a sigh of relief. “Yeah?”
“Yes. I will do anything for us, Richard.”
He kissed me hard, then drew back. “Thank you.”
He focused his attention back on Gracie and Heather.
I touched my lips, wanting to feel his mouth on mine again.
He had held me close the night before, but nothing else. He was affectionate and sweet, yet I wanted more. I didn’t want to push him, and I wasn’t sure how to tell him without adding pressure. I had been planning to talk to him tonight, except he was already asleep.
I vowed I would bring it up tomorrow. Still for now, my family was asleep, and I was too keyed up to join them. I decided to take advantage of the quiet and have a bath.
Picking up the baby monitors so Richard wouldn’t be disturbed, I slipped into the en suite and turned on the tap, studying the large basket of products Richard had sent me while I was at the Gavins’ house. I had loved his gifts, knowing how much effort he put into choosing them and why he was doing so. I felt his love in every gesture. The basket was filled with an exquisite array of bottles of foams, oils, bath bombs, soaps, and lotions in all my favorite scents. I picked a bottle of lavender honey—Richard’s favorite—and added it to the water, inhaling the soft fragrance with appreciation. I sank into the water with a sigh of happiness.
Today had been a good day, and I hoped the beginning of many of the same. I knew there would be setbacks, but I wanted to think we were stronger and could handle them together now.
I reached for the small bathtub radio Richard had given me and turned on a relaxing blend of music. The warmth of the water soothed my muscles, the scent of sweet lavender filled my head, and I allowed myself to drift.
Until I heard Richard’s agonized voice call out my name. Grabbing a towel, I scrambled from the tub and rushed into our room, leaving a trail of water behind me.
He was still in bed, his hands lifted, his voice raised in panic, locked in a dream somewhere in his head.
“Katy…no…baby, come back!”
I crawled onto the bed, shaking his shoulders.
“Richard,” I begged. “Wake up, my darling. It’s just a dream.”
His eyes sprang open, and he gripped my shoulders, clutching at my wet skin.
“Katy,” he gasped.
“I’m here.”
He looked around wildly. “You were walking away. You wouldn’t come back,” he panted. “I couldn’t chase after you. My legs don’t work!” He gripped me harder. “I couldn’t get to you. You were leaving—”
“Shh,” I comforted him. “It’s all right, Richard. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” I pried his hand off my shoulder and pressed it to my cheek. “I’m right here.”
He stared at me, blinking, panicked, and confused.
“Right here,” I repeated. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He swallowed, and then his mouth was on mine.19RichardThe taste and feel of my wife chased away the last lingering remnants of my dream. Katy wasn’t walking away. She was right here, with me, in my arms.
Right where she should be.