The Amendment (The Contract 2)
Page 70
She was silent for a moment. “And now?”
I slid my hand under her chin, lifting her face. I scanned her eyes looking for hurt, except I saw only concern and worry.
“Now I see how hard you tried and how little effort I put in. Except that’s changed, Katy. I swear to you.” I shook my head in sorrow. “I’m ashamed of the way I treated you and my girls.”
She lifted her finger, tracing it over my jaw. “All they want is for you to love them, Richard. You are the most amazing daddy. They don’t care if you have legs that move or you sit in a wheelchair with them on your lap. They adore you so much, and Gracie has missed you terribly.”
“I missed her. And Heather changed so much in the time you were gone.” I pulled her close, dragging her up my chest so we were nose-to-nose. “And you, Katy. This. The thought I could never make love to you again destroyed me. Every time you were close, all I could think of was I wasn’t ever going to be able to love you again. It flipped something inside me to the point I couldn’t even bear to touch you, even though I was dying to do so.”
“I felt as if you were rejecting me,” she admitted, a quiver in her voice.
“No. I was rejecting me. The man I thought I was going to be from now on. I used to lie here at night and touch you when you were asleep. Whisper my fears to you because I was too afraid to say them out loud.”
Tears glimmered in her eyes. “Oh, Richard…”
I kissed her soft lips and wiped away the tears.
“When you were gone, I was empty. I thought of you all the time. I missed being able to talk to you, to touch you. Promise me you’ll never leave me again. No matter what I do, or how much of an asshole I am. Slam my head in a cupboard or something until I come to my senses.”
She widened her eyes. “That sounds painful.”
“Not as painful as being away from you. Never again.”
“Never again,” she whispered.
I kissed her—gently, sweetly, and thoroughly. I lingered on her lips, having missed the feel of them for days.
With a sigh, she settled back with her head nestled into the crook of my neck. We lay close and connected. I ran my fingers up and down her arm, reveling in the feeling of the moment and having her beside me again.
“I have to go see Graham. I have a lot more groveling to do.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I was as horrible to him as I was to you.” I huffed out a lungful of air. “I wonder if he’ll forgive me this time.”
“I think you’ll be surprised.”
“I think he’ll have a few choice words for me. I, ah, I told him to go fuck himself.”
“I know. Laura was going to come over and wash your mouth out with soap. I suggested Ivory soap. I told her it was the worst.”
I couldn’t help the bark of laughter. “And how would you know that, Katy VanRyan?”
“I have my ways.”
“Thanks for suggesting it.” I nudged her. “Even mad at me, you’re supposed to be on my side.”
“Oh, I was,” she insisted, peeking up at me with a mischievous grin. “The truth is, my dad told me a story when I was young. He cursed a lot, and his mother punished him and washed his mouth with soap. He said Ivory was awful, yet he kept cursing. So the next time, his mother used Dial, and he never forgot the taste. He was very careful never to curse again.” Her eyes danced. “In front of her anyway. He said it was the foulest thing he ever tasted. I was trying to spare you.”
The hilarity only she could ever cause bubbled up again, and this time, I let it out. It felt good to let go. To laugh at a silly story and share that amusement with Katy. She giggled so hard, she snorted, and the two of us guffawed until we were both spent.
I pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her head.
“Thank God for you, Katy VanRyan. Thank God you’re mine.”
She snuggled close. “Always, Richard.”
It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep. The sound of her even breathing and the feel of her, warm and close, relaxed me.
I shut my eyes and let sleep take me.I stared at the phone, mentally giving myself a pep talk. As much as I dreaded this call, I knew I had to make it.
Another fence to mend, another apology to make. I sighed as I stared out the window. Gracie was running around her playset, calling to Katy, who was following Heather as she crawled through the grass. The sounds of my girls made me content. My gaze focused on my wife, her dark hair glinting red in the sun as she scooped up Heather, lifting her high. Katy’s hair flowed down her back, long and soft, grazing the ground, the way it grazed my thighs last night as she rode me. I had missed the feeling of her silky hair on my thighs, and when I had confessed that to her in the dark, she had leaned up and kissed me.