I had a beautiful wife, a successful career, and a baby on the way. I had never been happier.
We had lots to celebrate that night. At least until Shelby fell asleep, her head on my shoulder as I talked and made plans. When I noticed her silence, I watched her for a while, filled with the wonder of the moment and of her.
I kissed her brow and let her sleep.
I had a feeling my child was going to wear her out for a long time to come.
To nip things in the bud, I allowed Cassidy to release a statement saying while out of the country, Shelby and I were married and were now expecting our first child—news we welcomed with a great deal of happiness. I still refused to talk about it or my private life, but I decided to get ahead of the rumors this time. Shelby was already glowing, and I knew soon enough she would start showing. She already had a small bump I liked to run my hand over and press my lips against while I chatted to the baby.
Our baby.
I drove her doctor crazy with my questions, read far too many books on the subject, and once again, made everyone laugh with my lists.
This time, I made multiple copies so when Shelby was fed up with me checking them and fed them through the shredder, I had extra handy.
I went to every doctor’s appointment, held Shelby’s hair during her bouts of morning sickness, rubbed her sore shoulders, and brought her crackers to quell her queasy tummy. Quickly, I learned the three new faces of Shelby while her body raged with all the additional hormones, some of which frightened me no matter how often they appeared.
HS: Horny Shelby. My favorite one. OJ loved it, as well. We both actively encouraged that hormone.
IAS: Instantly Angry Shelby. We weren’t big on this one.
ES: Emotional Shelby. Our least favorite.
Often, I could sideline ES with HS if I moved fast enough and it was the right sort of day. Frequently, IAS dissolved into ES. I was never sure. When I brought up the subject with Dr. Emily, wondering if there was some sort of indicator I could find so I knew which Shelby I would find waiting for me when I walked through the door, she actually smirked at me while Shelby glared then cried. I hugged Shelby while looking at Dr. Emily with my “See what I mean” expression. The doctor simply shook her head and her return look said, “Live with it.” So I did.
I added it all to my lists. My lists were a great comfort to me. Shelby hated my lists.
I also drove Shelby crazy with my constant worrying.
Nothing could happen to her or to the baby. I made sure she kept her stress to a minimum, I added extra security, a driver, and as often as not, went with Shelby wherever she was going, until the day she told me I was smothering her. And then sobbed because she thought she’d hurt my feelings. After that, I tried to give her a little more space, but I was never far away in case she needed me. If she had any idea how often I contacted her security when she was out, IAS would have shown up and maybe taken up permanent residence. Luckily, Ryan understood my over-the-top concern and kept me covertly informed. I gave Lesley the job as housekeeper, leaving only the part of keeping me on track to Shelby. No one could help keep me on track like my wife.
And nobody could cook like my wife.
I couldn’t live without her turkey sandwiches and cupcakes.
Especially the cupcakes.
Which was the reason I was currently being scolded by IAS. Vehemently.
I had to admit when she was hissing at me in anger, almost spitting in her fury, she was highly adorable. She resembled a rather pudgy kitten, all bristled and ready to attack. Her Beaker noises were loud and passionate, one hand resting on her rounded stomach, while the other gestured wildly. I tried hard not to smile as she cussed me out. That only made IAS angrier.
She did tell me she was making the cupcakes for Ryan and Lesley—I admitted that to her. I didn’t think they’d miss one.
Or three.
Apparently, I was wrong. Very wrong. And my plea of sympathy cravings wasn’t working.
Now I had ruined the entire day.
I braced myself for what I knew would happen next. I hated this part more than anything. I watched anxiously as Shelby’s face changed, the anger draining away as quickly as it started, and her voice trailed off. I waited, counting in my head for what would happen next.
5-4-3-2-1 and….
She was in my arms, sobbing out her apology for yelling. For being such a horrible person. I was the best husband in the world. She loved me so much. Chuckling at the complete about-face, I gathered her close and rocked her in my arms as I crooned tender words to calm her. I hated seeing her cry, but her hormones were so out of whack, it happened almost daily, and always after the angry hormones made their appearance.