Her eyes widened. “You know about that?”
“Van told me.”
“Why would he do that?”
I met her gaze. “Because he knew I wanted to ask you out. Not as a friend having a sandwich in the park, but a proper date. I held back because I wasn’t sure you were ready, but when he told me, I knew I had to step forward before I lost you to some jerk-off on a dating app who doesn’t deserve you.”
A smile tugged on her lips. “I’m sure they’re not all jerk-offs.”
“Have you seen the profiles? Jesus, Sandy, even at our age, they all want one thing—and it’s not companionship. I’m pretty sure the Viagra manufacturers sponsor those sites.”
“Well then, at our age, as you so delightfully put it, there would be a lot of short relationships. Or a huge surge in the Viagra market—which apparently would lead to a different kind of surge—at least temporarily so.”
Then she laughed, trying to cover it up with her hand. I started to laugh with her, relieved at her teasing.
I risked it and reached for her hand. She let me wrap mine around hers, the softness of her skin warm under my touch. “Don’t go on a date with anyone on that site, Sandy. Let me take you out.”
“On a date?”
I laughed. “If that sounds too scary, then let’s just go to dinner and a movie. Or dinner and a show. A walk. Whatever you want.”
“It sounds as if dinner is nonnegotiable.”
“It is.”
“We work together.”
“And BAM has no policies against interoffice relationships. Hell, half the office is dating or married to each other, it seems.”
She laid her free hand on top of our joined fingers. “I don’t want to lose our friendship.”
“I don’t think we’ll lose anything, Sandy. All I’m asking is for us to have a meal together. Spend some time together outside the office. I think we’re both lonely.” I sighed. “I haven’t been out with anyone since Anna passed. I don’t even know if I’m ready. But I do know this, if there is anyone I would like to try with, it’s you.”
“Why?” she asked quietly.
“Because you’re beautiful. I’m not talking only your outside beauty. I’m talking about the person you are. Kind, smart, funny. You’re warm and loving. Sweet. And as alone as I am.” I squeezed her hand. “We’re both too young to be alone. I think we have a lot to offer the other person. And if we decide it’s only as friends, then so be it. But I want to explore it. Try it. With you. If you’re willing.”
She looked over my shoulder, thinking. I let her process my words. I hadn’t planned on jumping in so quickly, but it had happened naturally, and I wasn’t upset by my words.
As long as she didn’t turn me down.
Her eyes met mine, and something inside me settled. Her gaze was warm and open and when she replied, my heart soared.
“I would love to go on a date with you, Jordan.”
I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed her knuckles.
“Thank you.”SandyI threw yet another dress on the bed and huffed out an exasperated sigh. Nothing I tried on felt right. I looked at the pile on the mattress and wondered if perhaps the reason for that was because each dress I tried had somehow had a memory linked to Max. A dinner we went out to. The night he took me dancing as a surprise before the disease put him in that damn wheelchair. The nights I would dress up and we would share an evening together at home on a “date.”
I sat down, shaking my head. I couldn’t do this. I wasn’t ready to date another man. Even though Jordan told me to think of it as two friends sharing a meal, I knew what it actually was.
I saw the interest in his eyes when we talked yesterday. The pitch of his voice, the way he held my hand, his frank words—none of that said friend.
I reached for my phone to call and cancel, then stopped as his words to me yesterday came back.
“By the way, Sandy, I won’t be taking any calls or messages from you tomorrow. I know you’ll have second thoughts, and you’ll try to cancel. Not happening. We’re going out for dinner. Accept it and maybe, just maybe, you’ll enjoy it.” Then he winked and left the office.
I knew Jordan and his gentle ways. If I called, he would answer, and he would take my decision because that was how he worked. He would be disappointed, but he would accept it, and the next time I saw him at work, treat me no differently from any other day.
I dropped my phone back on the bed. I wasn’t sure I was ready, but I wasn’t sure I wasn’t ready.
I laughed out loud at my thoughts. Even they were confused.