I racked my brain, then decided if it was that important, I would have Jordan contact the hotel to send on to me. Otherwise, I would replace it.
Still, that nagging feeling wouldn’t leave. Jordan slept on the short flight, but I was unable to settle. I checked my messages and email, somehow not shocked that my work profile showed nothing pending. Emmy was efficient and no doubt kept up with everything Bentley needed. Knowing him, he put aside some things for me to deal with so she wouldn’t be overloaded. I had a feeling the two of them would have spent a great deal of time together in the day care. They were enraptured with their daughter, and Bentley was especially besotted. It was lovely to see how much he had changed. Emmy was good for him.
It was wonderful to know all my boys were settling down, finding the right person to share their lives with. I wondered how many BAM babies would appear over the next few years—I was looking forward to being part of their futures.
Max and I never had children. He’d had a vasectomy before he met me, and although he attempted to have it reversed, it didn’t work. We were refused adoption because of Max’s age, and the one attempt we made to adopt privately ended in disaster and disappointment, and I swore I wouldn’t go through that again.
Meeting Bentley and the boys had given me the ability to love and care for someone other than Max. They eased the heartache of never being a mother—especially when Reid came along. His history and pain provoked a deep maternal response in me, and I adored him.
They all treated me as their adoptive mother since none of them had a motherly influence in their lives. And our grandson, Colin, held a very special place in my heart. I had held him as a baby, watched him grow, and loved him as fiercely as a mother would.
All my boys made the small part of my heart that ached for a child a little less painful. They filled a void not even Max could touch.
I shook my head at my thoughts. I rubbed my temples as the odd sensation of something forgotten, something lost, ran down my spine.
“Are you all right, my darling?” Jordan’s voice broke through my odd musings.
I startled at his voice but forced a smile to my face. “Yes, of course.”
“You’ve gone pale. Are you feeling ill?”
“No. You checked the hotel suite before we left, didn’t you?”
“Yes. Why? Do you think you forgot something?”
“I have an odd feeling I did.”
“I can ask the hotel to check if it’s important.”
I waved it off. “It’s probably my toothbrush. I think I can get by.”
He lifted my hand to kiss it, but for some odd reason, I resisted. He frowned but patted my hand instead, leaving his warm palm to rest on top of my hand. “We’ll figure it out.”
I nodded in silence and turned to the window, fighting the impulse not to pull my hand away.
What on earth was going on with me?
With a sigh, I shut my eyes. I must be tired from the weekend.
That had to be it.Jordan carried my bag up the steps, waiting as I unlocked the porch door, then the inner door. He followed me in, setting down my bag.
I dropped my keys in the bowl, suddenly tense and unsure. I had no idea what to say to him.
He studied me for a moment. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine.”
“You seem…distracted. Or upset.”
I sighed. “A bit tired.” I lifted one shoulder, unsure how to explain the unease I was feeling. “Maybe a little sad the weekend is done. Back to reality now,” I added lightly.
He stepped closer, sliding an arm around my waist. Before I could protest, he drew me close, enveloping me in his warmth. The clean scent of him filled my nose, and with a long breath, I relaxed into him, wondering why I had resisted his comfort earlier.
“I think reality is a little different for each of us now,” he murmured. “At least, I hope you know that.” He pressed a kiss to my head. “Get some rest and I’ll call you later.”
I nodded. He eased back, looking down at me. He bent and brushed a kiss to my cheek. “Call me if you need anything, all right?”
“I will.”
He paused before he walked out the door.
“I’m not sure how I’ll sleep without you beside me tonight, Sandy.” He shook his head. “I’m not looking forward to it.”
He walked out, pulling the door tight behind him.
I stared after his retreating figure, the unease back. My stomach tightened, and my body became tense.
That odd sensation crept over me, causing a shiver to run down my spine.
Somehow, without Jordan beside me, I felt nervous, worried, and unsure.