Beneath the Scars

God, I loved him.

Since coming back from Boston, we’d barely been separated. Even when he was in his studio I was with him. He had piled up some pillows and blankets, making me a little nest in the corner, where I happily curled up and read or napped while he worked. On occasion, I’d hear the click of the camera shutter and open one eye to see him snapping away. He’d grin, ignore my glare and continue shooting until he was happy. Daily walks with the dogs, quiet nights by the fireplace, waking up wrapped around him every morning—the past week had been all about us, and I enjoyed every moment of it with him.

I finished my ice cream and set down the bowl. Although I didn’t want to admit it, it was rather sweet, given how much syrup I had poured on. Grinning, I leaned over and took the mug from Zachary’s hand and sipped his coffee, shuddering a little at the bitter taste. He liked it strong and black and drank far too much of it. It did help clear away the sweet taste, though, and I giggled a little at the look he gave me for stealing his mug.

He placed his book on the table. “I forgot to look and see if that paint was still back ordered.” He looked around. “Where did I put my laptop?”

“I think it’s upstairs.” My smaller laptop was on the table, so I grabbed it and passed it over to him. “Use mine.” I’d been using it earlier when I contacted Bill and told him my decision to accept Jared’s offer. As much as I hated to do it, I’d take the money and move on with my life. What I had in Cliff’s Edge with Zachary was more important than fighting a battle I knew I was destined to lose. It had been a hard decision to make, but now I had made it, I was at peace with it. I hadn’t told Zachary yet; I was waiting for the right moment to bring up the subject.

He smirked at me as he took my laptop. “Are you going to give me back my coffee?”

“No.”

He opened my laptop, shaking his head, muttering about thieving women. His long fingers flew over the keys, pausing as he studied the screen with a frown. “Still back ordered.”

“Can you get it anywhere else?”

“No, it’s a rather exclusive shade. I need to ask Ashley to research it again and see if she can find another source.”

Another few clicks of the keyboard and he started to shut the lid. He paused, his face freezing, a frowning glance at me as he started clicking the mouse again. He was silent, his body becoming tense as his shoulders squared and his frown deepened. I stared at him, wondering why he looked so angry. He was glaring at the screen. I sat up, realization of what he was looking at flooding my head. A small tremor shot through my spine, working its way from the pit of my stomach to my throat, tightening the muscles as it worked upward.

“Zachary—”

He spun the laptop my way. “Why do you have a file of me, Megan? Pictures?” He clicked again. “A fucking book on my past?”

I swallowed, the words dying in my throat at the fury on his face.

“Why?” he demanded again. “Why do you have this shit on here?” His eyes narrowed, his face becoming the cold mask I’d seen the first time I met him. “Are you researching me for something?”

“No!” I gasped out. “It’s not like that at all, I promise!”

“Then tell me what it is like.”

“I was drunk with Karen and missing you,” I offered, knowing how lame those words sounded.

“And?”

“I googled you, okay?”

He pushed the laptop off his knee, standing up. He towered over me, his anger evident in the set of his shoulders. “Why?”

“I was…curious.”

“Why wouldn’t you ask me? Why look on the internet or hide the fact you were curious?” His eyes narrowed, filled with suspicion. “What else are you hiding?”

I became angry, as well. How could he think I was lying to him? I wasn’t anything like the people from his past. “I’m not hiding anything, Zachary.” I waved my hand dismissively at the computer. “If I was, would I leave it in a file with your name on it for you to find, if I was hiding something?”

“You never expected me to look on your computer.”

“I gave you my computer! I forgot it was there!” I stood up in my fury. “I was drunk, thinking of you and my curiosity got the better of me! Yes, I looked at some pictures of you when you were younger, before you were scarred. Yes, I downloaded a stupid book about you. I never read it!” I flung out my arms in supplication. “Haven’t you ever done something in a moment of weakness?”