Wrapped in the safety of his embrace, I felt the emotion well in me. It was during our lovemaking he opened himself up most. Trusted me most and gave the most of himself to me. I wanted that trust all the time.
Gently, he laid me down, curling his body around mine. “Shh,” he whispered. “I have you, Megan. I’m right here.”
I nodded, unable to speak or explain my sudden tears. He didn’t utter a word either, but ran his hands up and down my back in long comforting strokes.
“I’ll do better,” he whispered into my ear. “I promise.”
I held him closer, praying he could.23MeganTwo days later, my phone beeped with an incoming text from Ashley. The special paint had arrived, and so had both sets of brushes I’d ordered the day I came back from Boston. I wanted to give him a gift, and after asking her advice, she kindly offered to get two different sets in for me, and allow Zachary to choose which he preferred. He’d want to hold them in his hand, feel their weight and balance before deciding, she explained. Now that the paint and brushes had arrived, I couldn’t wait to surprise him, but I hadn’t thought to ask the price at the time. I frowned as I looked at the screen—they cost a lot of money, but I’d manage it. I really wanted to give him something special and I knew he’d love the brushes. We could go into town today and pick them up.
Zachary still seemed a little withdrawn; the effects of the other night still lingering between us. I thought maybe a change of scenery would be a good thing for both of us.
“What’s that frown for?”
I deleted the message, not wanting to spoil the surprise. “Nothing.”
He glanced down at the phone as I set it on the table. “Problem?”
I resisted rolling my eyes at him. “No.”
His gaze lingered on the phone, then he returned his attention to the paper. He didn’t look convinced or happy. I stifled a sigh, resisting the urge to remind him of our trust discussion.
“It’s nothing, Zachary.”
He shrugged a little, but didn’t say anything. I was a lousy liar and I didn’t want to give the surprise away, so I changed the subject. “I’m going into town today. You want to come?”
He glanced out the window at the dull sunshine. “Not really. Can it wait until tomorrow?”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. I really wanted to go and get his gifts. He had been muttering again yesterday about this color he wanted and talked about checking online to try and find it. I wanted to give it to him before he had the chance. I was looking forward to seeing his reaction to the brushes and watching him choose the set he wanted. I could already picture him holding the brushes, his long fingers wrapped around the carved wood as he tested them in imaginary strokes on a blank canvas. His eyes would light up when he felt the connection and glow with warmth as he smiled my way, banishing the lingering unease of the past couple days.
“No, I, ah, need a few things. I have to go in today.”
He took a sip of his coffee. “Like what?”
I searched my brain trying to think of something. “Um, cream…and some ah, personal stuff.”
“Personal stuff?”
“Girl stuff, Zachary.”
“Ah.”
“We’re almost out of popcorn and corn syrup.”
He snickered, his mood shifting a little. “Well, if you didn’t drown ice cream in it and eat popcorn every evening, maybe we wouldn’t have to run in to town so much. Do we have any ice cream left?”
“Only a little.”
“I’ll add it to the list. I’ll let Mrs. Cooper know.”
“Okay. You’ll come with me?”
“You go without me.”
“Oh.”
He studied me, his eyes curious and wary. “Is it so important I go with you?”
“I had thought—” My voice trailed off. It wasn’t worth pushing him. Ashley would let me bring the brushes home and return whichever ones he didn’t want, and my other plan could wait. “Never mind. I’ll go alone.”
“You thought what?”
“I wanted to go in today, and I wanted you to come with me. It’s quiet in town. I thought maybe we could have lunch at the café.”
“Pick it up, you mean?”
I shook my head, swallowing hard. I’d been thinking about this a lot. “No, I thought we could eat in the café.”
His entire body stiffened. I wrapped my hand around his. “It’s still slow—only the locals. You said you’d try.”
“What if…what if it’s busy?” His voice dropped. “What if they stare?”
“If it’s busy we’ll try another day. If they stare, then they’re rude. It’s their problem, not yours.” I shifted closer. “You’ve already done this, Zachary. More than you realize, you’ve accomplished so many firsts. You go to the store, the doctor, the gallery, and even the park. At one point, you told me you didn’t think you’d ever leave this house, but you did it all, and you’ve done it by yourself. I’ll be there with you today.” I squeezed his hand. “It’s only lunch.”