Slowly I walked down the stairs, Elliott ahead of me. Shrugging into my coat, on impulse, I slipped the last journal into the pocket. I hesitated, my hand gripping the door handle, knowing once I opened the door there was no turning back. Elliott would be out like a shot and within seconds, Megan would know I was coming. There was a chance she would turn and walk away.
Nonetheless, it was a chance I had to take.* * *Elliott was out of the door and on the beach before I even got to the top of the stairs. I stood watching as Dixie and he raced toward each other, the barks of welcome ringing out, echoing loudly. A smile tugged on my lips, watching the two furry friends reunite. Megan turned, watching as well, her head lifting, looking my way as I stood on the steps. Deliberately, she turned back to the water, her shoulders now straight. There was no doubt what emotion she was feeling at the moment.
Wrapping my coat tighter, I crossed the beach, stopping before I was too close. The urge to wrap myself around her was almost overwhelming. All I wanted was to reach out and touch her, but I knew that wouldn’t be welcomed.
She spun around, the movement so abrupt and unexpected, it startled me and I stepped back. Emotions I’d kept buried, memories I refused to allow to surface, broke free, tearing though me like a tornado.
Her eyes—swirling, deep pools of brown so rich and vibrant stared at me, filled with a thousand emotions. Her sweet face was pale, the freckles standing out on her skin like flecks of wet sand on a bleached seashell. She was thin and tired looking—yet so very beautiful.
How could I have forgotten how beautiful she was? How much she made me feel simply by being close to her?
I stepped forward, but her hand flew up, halting my movement.
She was also very angry.
I held up my hands in supplication. “Megan,” I breathed.
Her eyes dropped, but she didn’t move, instead pulling the coat she was wearing closer around her like armor. “Why are you here?”
“I had to come back.”
“Why?”
How did I explain it to her? There weren’t enough words for what I wanted to tell her. “Please, look at me.”
Slowly her eyes lifted, my heart aching with the pain and hurt I saw in them. Pain and hurt I caused. Her hands tightened on the coat, the material twisting in her fists. “You believed him. You believed his disgusting, terrible lies,” she spat.
“I’m sorry.” Two words that weren’t anywhere near adequate, yet the only ones I could think to say.
“You’re sorry?”
“I have so much to say, Megan. I don’t know how to start.”
“Why don’t you start with where you’ve been for the past few months, Zachary? After you left me here! Alone—facing that sea of reporters who were screaming and yelling questions, calling me names, while he stood there, fucking smirking as you walked away—no—ran away like a coward! You arrogant, selfish, asshole! You just left me there!”
Her voice had steadily risen until she was screaming at me and I flinched at her words, but didn’t stop her diatribe. Everything she said was true.
“And then I come back here to find you gone! You disappeared without a word, the whole time believing his lies!”
“I did believe them. It made so much more sense than you really loving me.”
Her shoulders sagged, her voice now weary. “I never did anything but love you.”
“I know that now.”
“How did it feel when you realized I wasn’t lying? That everything I said was the truth? That we were real? He used me. He used you to get to me. Not the other way around. How did that feel?”
“It made me ill.”
“How do you think I felt?”
“I have no idea, Megan. I can only imagine you were devastated.”
She nodded. “I was. And, I was alone again and had to start over.”
I closed my eyes at the sound of her pain. “I’m so, so sorry.”
“So you keep saying.”
“I don’t know what else to say. I want to take you inside and talk to you. Sit down and hash this all out. Listen to whatever you want to tell me. Maybe get you to listen to me.” I inhaled sharply. “I know it might not mean anything now, Megan, but I love you.”
She drew in on herself, taking a step back as her eyes widened. “You love me…why, Zachary? Why exactly do you love me?”
Watching her reaction to me was torture. The need to draw her close clawed at me and I pushed my hands into my pockets to stop myself from touching her. My entire world was hanging by a thread in front of me, and I knew it could snap at any second. She could turn and walk away—out of my life for good.