Since the day we lost Josh.
She reached over the counter, clasping my hand, her voice low and sad. “You can’t bring him back by giving up your life, you know. He’d hate it if he knew you were trying.”
“I know,” I mumbled, shocked by her words. She never spoke of Josh. In fact, she rarely spoke of anything personal with me. She lived a life she’d once laughed at. Lunches, spa days, afternoons with “the ladies.” My parents lived in an expensive high-rise, had a housekeeper who cleaned, cooked, and did the shopping. The woman in front of me was coiffed and perfect, totally unlike the memories I still carried of my mom, pushing a grocery cart, me trailing beside her as we snacked on an open bag of crackers and she instructed Josh what brand of cereal he was allowed. Those days ended years ago. My mom, or Jo-Jo, as my dad called her, disappeared the day Josh died, and Josephine replaced her.
Our gazes locked, and for a moment, I saw her pain. For a moment, I thought she was going to say something else, but she straightened her shoulders, and the cool mask I was used to seeing reappeared.
“If you need to do this, please approach your father carefully. He has already lost enough.”
I heard the subtle warning behind her words, and I shook my head wildly. I thought of the look that would cross his face if I told him. The crushing disappointment. I couldn’t face it. I couldn’t be the one to do that to him. I already owed him so much.
“It’ll pass, Mom. The latest project is very stressful. As soon as this next project completes, I’ll take a little time off. Maybe Brianna and I will go on a vacation. I’ll be fine.”
She sighed, folding a dish towel and laying it on the counter. “I’ll be watching, Lottie.”I stood, reaching for my coat. “I had better get going.”
Mom stared at me knowingly. “Escaping while your father is on the phone so he won’t insist on a car for you?”
I bent over and kissed her cheek. “You know as well as I do that Rodney will watch me walk down the street to the subway. I am perfectly safe. I have a five-minute walk on the other end.”
She shook her head. “So independent.”
“It’s all I have.”
She regarded me, frowning. “You have a great job. Remember how important your father’s company is to him, Lottie. Many people would love to have your opportunities.”
I tamped down my retort and smiled at my mother. No one knew how important the company was to him more than I did. It had replaced everything else in his life after Josh was gone.
I also knew the fleeting moment that passed between my mother and me earlier was gone. Any hope she would speak to my father on my behalf disappeared. She always sided with him. “Of course.”
She patted my cheek. “Like you said, you can take a break when this next project is done.”
“Right. I’ll consider it later.”
“Good.”
“Goodnight, Mom.”
I hurried away, worried my father would appear from the den and stop me.My feet dragged coming off the subway; weariness made my body feel older than my twenty-six years. I climbed the steps, welcoming the cold air as I exited the station, and I tucked my scarf tight around my neck. I walked sluggishly, not in any hurry. I doubted I would sleep much with everything on my mind.
I felt trapped. I truly despised my job, yet I had no idea how to get out of it. My father owned the firm, and I was the heir apparent. It was expected of me. My heart ached when I thought of the reason why. It should have been Josh. Like my father, he’d loved all elements of business. He soaked it all up like a sponge. He had been the golden child, groomed to take over and carry on the Prescott name. Even at his young age, he understood the nature of my father’s business and loved it. I was just the little girl, loved for being the baby of the family, with no expectations placed on me, until Josh got sick.
It happened fast. One day, he was fine. And it seemed, at least to the child I was then, the next, he was dangerously ill. Life revolved around the hospital and Josh. All I heard were discussions and plans for treatment options. Nothing else mattered. As options were tried, and failed, my parents began to shut down. When the doctors discussed stem cell treatments, my parents were tested, but they came back as not a good match. He was put on the OneMatch Network, but time was running out. All I knew was I missed my big brother, and I wanted him home. I wanted life to go back to the way it was. When the doctors suggested, despite my age, I be tested, that there was a good chance I could be a match, I saw the hope in my parents’ eyes. I’d known how important it was that it work. I had been the last hope to save Josh.