“Uh, how did you find a spare minute to call me?” Kennedy answered. “Aren’t you too busy getting laid to have time for the likes of me?”
Just hearing Kennedy’s teasing voice made Madison’s eyes fill with tears.
&n
bsp; “I messed up,” Madison said, her voice catching. The huge knot in her throat made it difficult to breathe, much less speak.
“What’s wrong? You sound upset, and when you’re upset, I’m upset.”
“Adam asked me to marry him.”
There was silence on the other end for a long moment. “And?” Kennedy drew out the word.
“And I didn’t say yes.”
Another pause. “Did you say no?”
“I didn’t say no either. Not exactly. I told him we needed to talk about it, and he freaked out. And then we made up and he asked me to move in with him, and I freaked out again. Then I think I broke up with him. I’m not sure. I’m not sure about anything right now. I left, but I’m not sure I meant to leave. I didn’t want to leave, but it seemed like the only option at the time because I wasn’t thinking clearly and he wasn’t listening properly. What am I doing, Kennedy? I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.” She dashed away her foolish tears. The airport was not the place to have an emotional breakdown. People were starting to stare.
“Where are you, honey?”
“I’m at the airport trying to get on an earlier flight.” She hoped a standby seat became available soon so she wouldn’t have to hang around the airport all day. Her ticketed flight wasn’t until the next day, so the odds weren’t looking good for her.
“Good. I’ll help you sort things out when you get here. What time does your flight land? I’ll make sure I’m home when you arrive.”
“Don’t cancel appointments or anything; I’ll be okay.”
“What time, Madison?”
“Half past three, I think. They said my best chance is the two o’clock flight.” She wiped at a few stray tears that insisted on falling. She could always count on her sister to be there for her. “I’m sure I made a huge mistake by leaving, Kennedy, but I didn’t know what to do. I panicked.”
“You did the right thing. He shouldn’t have freaked out because you told him you needed to talk about something as monumental as marriage. I didn’t even know marriage was on his agenda.”
One of the main issues was that Adam didn’t see marriage as monumental. He seemed to think it was something to do on a whim. Madison sniffed her nose, and dug through her purse for a tissue. “Neither did I. It was a complete shock. I still can’t believe he asked. But I messed up with him so bad. I’m not sure he’ll ever forgive me.”
“You didn’t mess up, he did. And he’s obviously more serious about you than you are about him.”
Madison closed her eyes and shook her head. “But he’s not. I should have just said yes. I don’t know why I didn’t. He means everything to me. I love him. I want to marry him. I do. I just . . . I’m confused. Or . . . I don’t know. Maybe I’m delirious. I did get bitten by a bunch of mosquitoes. Isn’t delirium one of the symptoms of Ebola?”
“You don’t have Ebola, Madison. It isn’t even transmitted by mosquitoes.”
“I know. That was a joke.” Apparently not a very good one.
“In all seriousness, Madi, something held you back. Some kernel of reason prevented you from accepting his proposal.”
“But I love him. I love him so much, Kennedy.”
“Love isn’t all there is to being this man’s wife. You know marrying him is going to be a huge hairy deal. He’s a celebrity. He’s an addict.”
“Recovering addict.” Sometimes she hated how even kiltered her sister could be. She so rarely got worked up about anything. And Madison had once been the same way. She was glad Adam had shown her how to be passionate. She just wished that embracing that part of herself didn’t scare her so much.
Kennedy ignored her interruption. “Had you ever even discussed marriage with him before he popped the question?”
“No,” Madison said. “That’s why it completely threw me. We’re standing in this bayou joking about fish and alligators and mosquitoes and the next thing I know he’s on one knee proposing and . . .”
She could still picture him at her feet, staring up at her with absolute adoration, the ring he offered catching stray rays of sunshine. She took a deep breath.
“You should have seen the ring he tried to give me. It was gorgeous. And my heart wanted me to say yes, but I just froze up completely.” She blew her nose and tossed the tissue into a nearby garbage can.
“And you tried to talk to him about it?”
“Of course I did, but he’s hurt that I didn’t accept immediately. He seems to think that because I act on logic instead of pure blind emotion that I don’t love him.”
“He said that to you?”
Madison toyed with the plastic armrest of her chair. “Well, not exactly, but I could tell he was thinking it.”
“Maybe he needs a few days to think it over himself,” Kennedy said.
“But I’m afraid he’ll think I don’t love him. That I left him. Actually left him. For good. I think I need to go back immediately and make him listen to me. Make him see reason.”
“He’s not a reasonable man, Madison. He is completely driven by emotion and desire. I honestly don’t get what you see in him. He’s your exact opposite.”
Madison sighed. “That’s what I love most about him, that we’re so different. He brings things out in me I didn’t know I held inside. You know?” Of course Kennedy didn’t know. She only ever dated Mr. Safe and Dr. Secure. “I need that, Kennedy. I need him in my life. And he needs me in his.”
“Dr. Fairbanks”—Madison heard Kennedy’s receptionist—“your one o’clock appointment is here.”
“Thanks, Cyndi. Just give me a minute,” Kennedy answered her. “I’ll be home when you arrive, honey, and we can discuss this like rational adults,” she said to Madison.
Like a psychiatrist and a counselor, she meant. Kennedy still didn’t know that Madison had been fired. They didn’t have time to add that bit of crazy to the discussion now. Kennedy disliked Adam enough as it was; she’d flip out when she learned that he was responsible—at least in part—for Madison losing her job.
“Okay,” Madison said. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
“Love you, sis.”
“Love you too.”
When the call disconnected, Madison felt that a lifeline had been yanked from her hand. She always felt a bit disconnected when she didn’t see her twin for a couple of days, but the sudden feeling of panic was extra strong. And ridiculous. She’d never quite understood what her patients who suffered from anxiety attacks went through. She completely understood now and was sorry she hadn’t been more sympathetic to their need for Valium.
Madison took several calming breaths and tucked her phone into her purse.
“Passenger Madison Fairbanks, please report to the counter at Gate C10. Passenger Madison Fairbanks.”
Madison hesitated at hearing the announcement, but she wasn’t sure why. She needed to go home where she felt safe and secure so she could determine her next move. Adam said he would wait. But for how long? He’s said it himself. He wasn’t a patient man. The faster she figured out why her head and her heart were at odds, the faster she could return to him. Because she was pretty sure the heart was going to win this particular battle. She rose from her uncomfortable airport chair and headed to the counter.
“I’m Madison Fairbanks,” she told the attendant.
“There’s a seat available on the next flight to Dallas.”
The woman glanced up from her monitor when Madison didn’t say anything.
“If you changed your mind, there’s another passenger—”
“I’ll take it,” she said, not sure why her stomach sank as the words left her mouth. If Adam had just talked to her when she needed to talk and acted as her sounding board for a change, then she wouldn’t have had to leave. Or maybe if she wasn’t such a coward when it came to huge life decisions . . . But she should be allowed to think such things through, shouldn’t she? Just because he was impulsive and reckless and bold didn’t mean she had to be, did it?
She scr
ubbed her face with both hands. Kennedy would help her sort through her jumble of thoughts. Suddenly she couldn’t wait to be home.
“Photo ID please.”
“Huh?” Madison said, hearing what the woman was saying, but not comprehending her words.
“Driver’s license? Passport?”