“Totally,” she said.
“Still not ready to admit you’re in love with me?”
Amanda’s lips went numb. “Um . . . Well . . . I-I’m not sure.”
“You’ll come around,” he said with a confident grin. He shifted his free hand to rest on her thigh.
If he was that sure, he knew more about her feelings than she did. If she was in love with him, the feeling hadn’t first sparked recently. It had been growing for a long time. But she didn’t want to believe that she’d fallen for him while he’d still been married to Tina. That was a betrayal to her sister that she didn’t want to face. And she definitely needed to change the subject. Again.
“So last night I was talking to my friend Leah,” she said. Which reminded Amanda she needed to text her and see if Colton had contacted her for a second date.
“Your cute Asian friend?” Jacob asked, glancing over his shoulder as he changed lanes to pass a lagging semi-truck.
“What’s with the cute qualifier?” Amanda asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
“What? I said she was cute, not that I want to screw her.”
Amanda shoved her feelings of unwarranted jealousy into the pit of her stomach. She knew that Tina’s jealousy had been the primary catalyst for her breakup with Jacob, and Amanda refused to follow the same path.
“Yes, my cute Asian friend Leah. She’s the one who does the GED prep course around Christmas break. Remember when we talked about that?”
Jacob moved his hand from her leg to rest on the automatic transmission gear shift. “I remember,” he said after a moment.
“Her class is totally full already.”
“So I guess that idea is shot.” He didn’t seem too upset about it.
“I thought you wanted to get your GED.”
“I do,” he said.
“Are you sure?” she pressed.
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Then you’ll be glad to know that Leah agreed to let you into the class as a favor to me.”
He didn’t see her bright smile of encouragement, because he didn’t look at her. He didn’t respond either. “Jacob?”
“The band will be working on our next album then,” he said.
“It’s only a few nights a week. I’m sure you can make it work if you want to.”
“I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of your smart friend,” he said quietly.
“You won’t,” Amanda said. “Leah works with struggling students all the time.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jacob took his eyes off the road long enough to glare at her.
“I don’t know why this is escalating into an argument,” Amanda said. “You told me you wanted to get your GED but didn’t think you were prepared. Leah is the best teacher around for your exact situation. She’s willing to put her neck out for you at my request, and you act like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t understand what your problem is.”
“My problem? You’re the one so fixated on this GED thing.”
“Me?” she shouted, and then she lowered her voice when Julie mumbled incoherently in her sleep. “I don’t care if you ever get your GED. You said you regretted never graduating from high school.”
“I do,” he said.
“Jacob, I don’t want you to regret anything. Not your unfinished education. Not your relationship with Tina.” Not being with me, she added silently.
“I don’t regret marrying your sister,” he said. “Without Tina, there’d be no Julie. I don’t want to even think about what life would be like without her. I also don’t regret divorcing your sister. She’s a huge pain in the ass. We don’t belong together.”
Amanda couldn’t help but draw parallels between herself and Tina. Maybe Jacob thought she was being a huge pain in the ass for meddling in his life.
“I appreciate that you’re trying to help,” he said.
She lifted a skeptical eyebrow at him. “Do you?”
“Yeah. I just—” He shook his head and reached for an open bottle of water, tipping his head back as he chugged half its contents. He returned it to the cup holder and gripped the steering wheel in both hands.
Amanda traced the edge of the skull tattoo on his right shoulder. “Do you want to talk to Leah? Maybe she can convince you that you’ll do just fine.”
“No, I don’t want to talk to Leah. What do you do in her class? Sit and read books?”
“I think she does a practice test on the first day.”
“A test on the first day?” Jacob blurted.
“Practice test,” Amanda said. “It’s to see where your weaknesses are. She uses it to customize her instruction for each student. She forms study groups to work on topics and determines if there are issues that the entire class needs to be instructed on. And she does a lot of one-on-one instruction for students who are really struggling.”
Jacob massaged the back of his neck.
“You don’t have anything to be nervous about. If you’re not ready to take the real test at the end of the class, you can sign up to take the class again. You can take it as many times as you want. It’s not for a grade or anything, it’s just to help you do your best on the test. I know you’re smart enough to do this, Jacob.”
He snorted. “Oh yeah,” he said. “I’m a real genius.”
He was too hard on himself. She leaned over and kissed him on the arm. “You’re smart enough,” she repeated. “I know you are. You can trust my judgement. I’m a professional educator, remember?”
“You aren’t the first professional educator I’ve duped with sex,” he said.
Amanda’s jaw dropped. “What?”
He shrugged. “Let’s just say Mrs. Cranston wasn’t helping me improve my essays when she kept me after school.” He laughed and rubbed at the center of his forehead.
“That’s terrible,” Amanda said. “Please tell me you reported her and got her fired. Hell, got her arrested.”
“For what?”
“For molesting you.”
“I honestly didn’t mind,” he said. “I was a lot better at making her moan than making heads or tails out of those boring-ass books she made us read.”
“She was your teacher, Jacob. Jesus, how old were you?” Not that it mattered. Even if he’d been a consenting adult of eighteen, a teacher was in a position of authority, one that should never be abused. Exchanging sexual favors for passing grades? It was positively disgusting.
“Uh, fourteen, I think.”
“Fourteen?” Amanda clutched her stomach to stave off the nausea. “I don’t even know what to say.”
His jaw hardened. “I’m sorry if what I did disgusts you. Failure was not an option.”
“You don’t disgust me, baby. She fucking disgusts me!”
“Are we there yet?” Julie asked groggily from the back seat.
“Not much longer,” Jacob told her, smiling at her in the rearview mirror. “About twenty more minutes.”
“Okay,” she mumbled before drifting back to sleep with her stuffed monkey snuggled tightly in her arms.
“Did you report that teacher?” Amanda said, still feeling sick over what he’d told her.
“It isn’t that big a deal, Amanda. Just drop it.”
“It is a big deal,” she insisted. “Would you think it was a big deal if some teacher coerced a fourteen-year-old Julie into offering sexual favors in exchange for better grades?”
Jacob’s face went ashen. “I’d kill the fucking son of a bitch.”
“So now do you get why I’m so upset about this?”
“It’s different,” he said. “Julie’s a girl.”