She laughed. “Oh, Clyde, you are such a clown.”
“Was Clyde a clown? I thought he was pretty serious what with the bank robbing and murdering crime spree.”
“We’re not focusing on that part of their legend,” Rebekah said. “We’re focusing on his devotion to Bonnie. How he’d do anything for her.”
“Even go to Bangor in December?” Eric asked.
“Of course. There are plenty of banks to rob up north.” She winked at him.
“Are you ready to start our journey then?”
Rebekah nodded and held out a hand. He took it and drew it to his lips. “You’re looking exceptionally beautiful, Ms. Clyde.”
“You’re looking quite dapper yourself, Mr. Bonnie.”
They raced down the stairs, pausing only to lock the front door, before he scooped her into his arms and carried her out to the minibus. She’d already stowed everything she thought they’d need for their trip, but was still running a checklist through her head.
“Smile,” Eric demanded, twirling her around on the walk at the bottom of the porch steps.
She laughed, clinging to his neck as the world spun around her, his smiling face the only clear object she could make out.
“That’s better. No worrying about anything while we’re on our honeymoon.”
“Deal,” she said, stretching her neck so she could kiss him.
He deposited her in the passenger seat and tapped her on the nose. “I can’t wait to see where you take us.”
She opened the glove box and pulled out her phone to start the navigation for the first leg of their journey. Eric had no idea what their route would be or where she’d planned for them to stop on their journey to the Northeast. She just hoped he enjoyed himself on their honeymoon. Correction, that they enjoyed themselves. As he climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine in his Clyde get-up, she knew they’d have fun no matter where they went or what they saw. The stops didn’t matter. Neither did the attire she’d packed to add a level of adventure to their travels. The final destination wasn’t all that important. Her husband, her partner in crime and in the mundane, her Eric, was the vital ingredient to her perfect honeymoon. Her perfect life.
“Where to, beautiful?” he asked.
“Catch the 10 east,” she said.
He shifted into gear and they headed out.
“So our first stop is Las Vegas,” he said as he turned onto the road at the end of the driveway.
Her head snapped up. “Did you snoop at my itinerary?”
He shook his head. “Nope. I just know the way to Vegas. Very well, I might add. And where else would we go taking 10 east?”
She sucked her pout into her mouth. He was right. “Well, hopefully you don’t figure out all the stops before we reach them.”
“It won’t matter. This is still fun. And after you’ve seen the frosty north, we get to go to paradise, which will be fun and warm.”
She turned her head to hide a disappointed frown. He was still focusing on the destination instead of their journey. She’d just have to show him that paradise didn’t always mean white sand beaches and perfect, sunny weather.
As they merged onto the interstate, several cars passed them, honking and waving. Eric waved back vigorously, grinning ear to ear.
“Do you know them?” Rebekah asked, watching yet another car zoom past blaring its horn.
“Nope.”
“Why are they honking?”
Eric’s grin widened. “No reason.”
“Errr-ric.”
He shrugged and waved at another passing car. “I might have painted something on the back of the minibus.”
Rebekah’s jaw dropped. “Oh shit. What did you do?”
“All in good fun,” he assured her.
She knew Eric’s idea of fun was almost always X-rated.
Eventually the road narrowed to two lanes in either direction and not so many new drivers saw whatever he’d painted on the back. Rebekah relaxed into her seat, which she’d fitted with a comfy new red seat cover.
“Is it naughty?” she asked, still wondering what he’d painted on their vehicle.
“A little.”
“Do I need to worry about getting arrested for indecency?”
He laughed. “No.”
When they stopped for gas just before they reached the Mohave Desert, Rebekah jumped out of the car and circled around the back to see what Eric had declared a little naughty.
Just Married. And in smaller letters beneath that, HONK if I should get some.
The car at the pump behind theirs honked, and Rebekah jumped at the unexpected sound. Eric took his hand off the nozzle to wave while Rebekah slinked over to him, a blush staining her cheeks.
“We’re going to draw attention everywhere we go,” she said.
“Yep.” He patted her butt with his free hand. “I want everyone to know you were crazy enough to marry me.”
“You want everyone to know you’re getting some,” she said, lifting an eyebrow at him.
“That too.”
She shook her head, not really upset. She loved that he was proud to have her as his wife and lover. Even if he did embarrass her with his enthusiasm at times.
“I’m going in to use the restroom. Do you want anything? A snack? A drink?”
“Why, Bonnie, I thought we were supposed to rob these places as a team.” Eric snapped his Clyde suspenders and then doubled over in pain. “Fuck!”
“I’m not sure I can trust a partner in crime who can’t operate his suspenders without causing himself bodily harm. I’ll just surprise you with something from the store.”
“Such as a Mountain Dew and some beef jerky?”
“How did you know?” She opened her eyes wide. “Frightening how he reads my mind,” she murmured under her breath as she turned away.
Inside the convenience store, the clerk eyed Rebekah suspiciously the second she came out of the less than spotless restroom. She wasn’t sure if her outfit or her wrapped sleeve tattoo or the purple chunks of hair mixed with platinum had drawn his attention, but his attitude annoyed her. It annoyed her when people gawked at Eric too, though he seemed to enjoy the extra attention. She set her items on the counter and smiled.
“Are you going to a costume party or something?” asked the man who reminded Rebekah of one of the actors on Grumpy Old Men.
So it was her costume that perplexed him. “Or something,” she said.
“What you s’posed to be?” he asked, drawing the bar codes of each item in front of a scanner.
“Bonnie,” she said. “And my husband is dressed as Clyde.” She nodded toward the clearly visible Volkswagen and her dapper husband outside the huge window.
“Strange time of year for shenanigans,” the man said as he poked buttons and she used the credit card reader. “It ain’t even New Year’s Eve.”
“We shenanigan all year long,” she assured him.
“I s’pose you’re headed for Vegas. Or just coming back. One or the other.”
“We’re on our way to Maine, actually,” Rebekah said, not that it was any of his business. He didn’t need to know that they were stopping in Vegas for a night chock full of shenanigans.
“What’s in Maine?” he asked as she signed her name on the card