Lost in Paradise: A Sinners on Tour Honeymoon (Sinners on Tour 6.8)

With their luck—their bad luck—why wouldn’t a shark make a bad situation worse? The guys were never going to believe what had happened to him and Jess on their honeymoon. If they found out about their close call on the balloon and then their being stranded at sea, the guys wouldn’t let the bad luck newlyweds board the plane with them when the band kicked off their European tour. So maybe he wouldn’t tell them that he and Jess were cursed. He didn’t feel cursed when he was with her. Just blessed.

“I’m going to make myself useful and find some batteries for the hand radio,” Jessica said.

Sed gave her a tight squeeze. “You’re going to hide from the shark, you mean.”

“That too.”

It was near noon when Sed saw the first hint of civilization. A large cargo ship lumbered along the horizon before them. He steered the sailboat to run parallel to the big vessel and called down to Jessica.

“Did you find those batteries? There’s a ship.” Nothing but silence came from below deck. “Jessica?”

She didn’t answer. His heart lurched. He hadn’t seen her in almost an hour. Sed had figured his dad had hidden the extra batteries as well as he’d hidden the MREs and spare fuses and that it would take her a while to find them, but maybe something had happened to her.

“Jess?” he called again. “Everything okay down there?”

Still no answer.

“Jess!” He threw the owner’s manual down the stairs, hoping to get her attention. “Shit.”

He lowered the sails, not wanting the wind to take them for a ride into the side of the cargo ship, and rushed down the steps. He found her in the back cabin. Well, he found her feet sticking out from under the bed.

“Jess? That shark can’t get you, sweetheart. No need to crawl under the bed.”

“Thank God you finally heard me,” she said, her voice muffled. “I’ve been calling you forever. I’m stuck.”

He chuckled. “You’re stuck under the bed?”

“Don’t laugh. Get me out of here!”

“Can it wait? There’s a cargo ship out there. I was going to hail them with the radio.”

“Oh sure, I can hang out here forever. I’m having a great time. It’s not like I need to fucking breathe.”

“How are you stuck?” he asked.

“My stupid life vest is caught on something. It’s very much not saving my life right now.”

“Unhook it.”

“Oh, why didn’t I think of that?” she asked, her sarcasm obvious. “I can’t reach the damned buckle.”

Her testiness made him press his lips together. Probably not a wise time to laugh at her predicament.

“How did you get under there in the first place?” he asked.

“I teleported,” she snapped.

“Let me see if I can get you out. I’ll try lifting the mattress. Tell me if it squishes you.”

He lifted the mattress clean off the bed, but instead of finding the rest of Jessica, he found a solid wood platform.

“Well, that was a bust. I’ll try pulling you out by your feet.”

He managed to budge her only a few inches before she was crying, “Ow, ow, ow.”

“I guess you are stuck,” he said.

“You think?”

“So why did you teleport under there?”

“I found two batteries for the radio, and when I was inserting them, I dropped one and it rolled under the bed.”

“So the radio is under there with you, I take it.”

She shifted her arm at an awkward angle and nudged the radio out from under the bed. “I still can’t reach the fucking battery.”

“I’ll get some tools and try taking the bed apart.”

He went above deck to get the tools and noted that the cargo ship had vanished. They were probably close enough to hail it with the portable, but without batteries, that wasn’t possible. He took the flare gun out, loaded it and pointed it toward the sky, but hesitated at pulling the trigger. They had one flare; it was the middle of the day; he couldn’t see the ship. Would they be able to see the flare? What if the other boat missed their signal? It was bright outside, so a flare wouldn’t be incredibly noticeable. How many crew members manned such a vessel and how many would be above deck at this time of day? He decided a better opportunity would come along. He put the unused flare gun away and gathered tools for his reverse carpentry project.

“Did you hail the ship?” Jessica asked.

“It’s gone,” he said. “Another one will be along shortly, I’m sure.” And now that he’d lowered the sails and lost his bearings, he couldn’t risk sailing any farther until the sun started to set and he could find his sense of direction. He was wishing now that he’d paid attention when his father had explained how to use a sextant instead of making jokes about sex tents, whatever those were. “Let’s get you out of there.”

He had to remove the entire side of the wooden bedframe to free the trapped buckle and get her out. The first thing Jess did was remove her life vest and toss it across the room. The second thing she did was hug him.

“Thanks for saving me. I thought I was going to die under there.”

“Yes, but the really important question is: did you get that battery?”

She smacked him and hugged him again. Her body was hot and sweaty, her face flushed. He helped her to her feet and had her sit at the table in the galley while he brought her a bottle of water and soaked a cloth in the cooler’s melted ice so she could wet her face and chest.

“Sorry I made you miss hailing the ship.”

“Maybe we didn’t miss it. I’ll go get the batteries for the radio.”

“Be careful—that bed is likely to eat you too. It’s far more dangerous than the shark we saw.”

Fortunately, he was able to get a response from that ship or perhaps another nearby one. Unfortunately, the guy on the radio spoke only a foreign language. It sounded like Chinese to Sed, but he couldn’t be sure. After several frustrating minutes of trying to get the fellow on the other end of the line to understand that they needed help, the boat moved out of range and his summons met with nothing but static again. Sed plopped down on the lounge sofa and covered his face with both hands.

“Just how far are we from California?” Jessica asked, moving from the galley to sit beside him. “We couldn’t possibly have sailed all the way to China, could we?”

“Not in one night. That ship must be on its way to the States.”

“That guy should probably learn to speak English, then.”

“And he probably thinks I should learn Chinese.”

“Fair enough,” Jessica said. “Now what?”

“We wait. Have lunch. Wait some more. Maybe try fishing. Wait. Make love. Wait a little longer.”

“That’s a lot of waiting,” she said.

“If we wait long enough, maybe we’ll get lucky.”

“Yes,” she said, “let’s do that. Get lucky.” She unfastened his life vest and pulled it free of his body, tossing it into the corner with the one she’d discarded after she’d been freed from her underbed prison. He felt less like climbing out of his skin already.

“That feels nice,” he said.