“Where’d you go?” he asks sleepily.
“Mom stuff,” I reply truly content for the first time in a long time.7TroyLissi has been a bit distant since the BBQ disaster and it is breaking my heart. I get it. Our family is very protective of one another. Everyone in it is this way. So, all they knew was what I thought I knew at first. I had assumed my mom had told them, but I should have known. Enid Jorgensen is notorious for ‘I mind my own business, you tell people what you want them to know’ so it doesn’t shock me that she didn’t spread the word and I knew Om wasn’t going to say anything. I should have told them before now, but it has all been too much. Once I took everyone out back and explained it, they all felt like shit but weren’t sure what to say so they opted to give her a few days.
It has been three days to be exact and I get at least a phone call an hour from the girls asking if they could come over yet and apologize and take her shopping. I finally told mama to tell everyone to give us a full week. I need to get her back on the same page with me as well. Speaking of.
“Hey, baby. You getting up anytime soon? Kari is already gone to school.” Walking into the bedroom, she is still in the same position she has been in since last night. Wrapped tight in the blankets, on her side. I am really beginning to get worried.
“Baby, look at me. What is going on? Talk to me. Is this still about the other day?” I tried telling her they all understand now, but she doesn’t buy it. Maybe I should just let them all come over.
“No. It is not about that.” Her sleep laden raspy voice informs me.
“Then what is it, Lissi? I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”
“I don’t know what to do. I have no education beyond the tenth grade. No skills. No... anything. What am I supposed to do?” I sit there stunned for a moment. Feeling like a fucking jackass because that never crossed my mind. I have been so selfish, only thinking about me and my wants and needs, that her own passed me.
“Shit baby. I’m so sorry. I am such a fucking asshole. Of course, you’re scared and confused. Fuck Lissi. What do you want to do? Do you want to go back to school? Do you want to find a trade? Do you want to be a stay-at-home mom? I mean what do you like?” My mind is whirring now, so many ideas and things popping into it that she could be doing.
“That’s just it, Troy. I don’t know. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere, do anything that wasn’t connected to the compound once I got there. So, I have no idea what I like, don’t like, want and don’t want. The only two things I have ever been sure of, throughout that whole ordeal, was how much I wanted and loved Kari and how much I loved you and always would. Nothing… Nothing else even registered.”
My Lissi. So honest and sweet. Fucking girl is the only person in the world who has the power to undo me. Besides my daughter now. “Fuck baby. I never stopped loving you either. Losing you took me someplace in my mind I never thought I would recover from. It was so bad Enid Jorgensen herself contemplated sending me away somewhere. In the end, my dad, brothers, and nephews are what got me through. But you were never far from my mind.” That last bit comes out as my mouth reaches hers. Our tongues engage in a slow deliberate motion, making promises to one another for the future. As with any time I touch her, my body lights up much like her eyes when she looks at me. I roll her over completely onto her back and brace myself over her. Kneeing her legs open, I situate myself in between them, making sure she can feel how much I want…no fuck that. How much I need her right now.
“Troy. Please,” she moans undulating beneath me trying to gain some friction for her weepy pussy.
“Please what, baby? I need you to say it. Tell me what it is you want.” As gruff as my voice is right now, oozing with the desire I feel for her and her alone, I know she can read the vulnerability in it as well. I know we have fucked, made love and had sex numerous times since I brought her and Kari here. But this, this somehow feels different. I need to know she needs me as much as I need her. She grabs my face and looks me in the eyes, her eyes moving back and forth between mine.