Prologue
Vanessa
“Wait! Are you breaking up with me?” I find myself asking my boyfriend of two years.
“I am. I mean let’s be serious. Was it really going to work? I thought that if I told you how I felt about the...extra meat you have on your body and gave you some tips on how to lose it, that you’d listen. I mean how many more ways could I have hinted that you would lose me if you stayed fat?” I know I should feel angry and pissed right now and I am sure in time I will. But right now, I can’t help but drop my jaw as I look at the face of this guy, I have been with for two years, busting my ass to be what he thought he wanted me to be, only for him to basically just stand here and tell me it was all in vain and that I was too fat for him. Let’s not forget he said all of this with a straight face, like it was perfectly understandable.
“Are you being for real right now?” I ask him, the incredulity I am feeling becoming visible.
“Yes. Who knows, maybe if you would have at least let me fuck you, I might have been more inclined to stay longer… but then again, I would have seen you with your clothes off so… maybe not. Sorry it didn’t work out babe.” and with that he is out the door. I literally fall onto my couch and sit here. I can feel my body shaking but it isn’t until I feel the wetness on my thighs that I realize I am crying. Visibly shaken up and not sure how I am going to go to work tomorrow and pretend this didn’t happen. I suppose if I am being honest, I can admit I don’t care so much about him leaving me as I do about the reason why. I mean, I look in the mirror every day and I know I am not gorgeous like some. Hell, like my big sister Araya. She is absolutely stunning. Perfect shape and hair. She is strong and smart, and she would never have dealt with him for as long as I have.
“Jerk.” I say as I wipe my face and go into my bedroom to get ready for bed. Standing in front of the mirror I look at myself and admit, even silently that he is right. I have always been chunkier than my sister Ray. She calls it thicker. I simply call it fat. Getting in bed, I can’t help but cry. Once again something I thought I had figured out for my life, is no more. It is in this moment when I make the decision to stop wishing for things that are obviously not in my future. I am done with love. I am done wanting a family. No more dreams of being a mom and a wife. No more visions of a man loving me the way I am. I am going to live my life the way it is and learn to be content with that. Somehow.
* * *
Two Years Later
Holy hotness. The man that just walked into my house is gorgeous to say the least. He’s tall, but not massive. His muscles are clearly visible through the shirt he is wearing. But it is the facial hair that has me going all gooey inside. Something about a man with hair on his face does something to me. He is here with Dr. Mark, the one who took care of Lily in the ER. She is one of my students who is living in an abusive household. She called me a few days ago to come and get her and it was apparent to me and my sister Araya, that we couldn’t let her go back there. So, we brought her to my place. Now here I am with my sister standing in my living room, trying to stop the ER doc from carrying her out of the house over his shoulder, as his hot friend looks on and smiles. I feel the hair on my neck standing because he has been smiling at me. I am so not used to men looking at me with anything other than disgust.
“Mark. Maybe we should come back. Give…” He stops and quirks his eyebrow at me obviously asking me my name. I almost forget it looking at him.
“Vanessa. My name is Vanessa.” I say my eyes down face burning up.
“Vanessa.” He whispers. Like he just learned a secret word or something. “We should leave and let Vanessa have time to talk to Lily. Considering what she has been through, it should be her choice. Don’t you think? You don’t want to be another controlling man in her life. Do you?” Who is this guy? If I was any other woman, I would be throwing myself at him right now. Hearing him try to look at from this poor girl’s point of view is more than enough to make a hussy. But I have had more than my share of rejection, so I keep my mouth shut.