Loved by the Plus Sign

“You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I am sorry. I should not have pushed you.” I say stepping back trying to get ahold of myself. I turn and hang my head for a second gathering myself, talking myself out of pulling her back into my arms and taking her.

“Maybe you should leave. I appreciate you stopping by, but this ...” She says waving her hands back and forth between the two of us. “Can’t happen. OK? I don’t do this. Not since…” she stops just short of finishing her statement, hurt and pain written all over her face. The detective in me is clenching and unclenching my hands, my head repeating the mantra over and over to not leave here, go to the office and look up her life so I can find the dead fuck that made her feel some type of way about herself. If I walk out right now, I will only be proving her messed up view of herself right and I am not about to feed into this shit. No. I have to take a different approach.

“Naw. I think I will stay and have dinner with you. What’s on the pizza?” I ask sitting down on the couch opening the box. I could give three shits what is on the pizza, but I need her to know I am not easy to get rid of. “I won’t bite. Well, at least not yet. Come. Sit and eat.” I say patting the seat next to me. She stands in the same spot, swaying back and forth trying to decide, biting her lip making me bite mine. “Please sit baby. I am barely holding it together. Your wall is looking sturdy right now, tulip. You want to test it out?” I ask her my eyebrow raising up, proving how serious I am. She squeaks as the realization dawns and she sits rather quickly. “Thank you, love. Now eat.”

“What if I don’t want to eat?” She asks her attitude making her sexier.

“Oh? Something else you have in mind, do you?” I start unbuttoning my shirt, seeing how far I can take it.

“Fine.” She picks up a piece and takes a bite. Watching her throat move up and down is not helping my situation right now. Damn it.

“Where’s Lily?” I know she is still staying here.

“Your friend came and picked her up as we were leaving the school. They should be coming back soon.”

“Well I don’t want to be here when she gets back. She might need to talk to you. Where do you want to go out to tomorrow?” I ask nonchalantly not bothering to give her a conversation about it.

“I’m sorry. What are you talking about?” Her face, astonished and doubtful.

“We are going on a date tomorrow and this is not a question tulip. I am done waiting on you, baby. This is going to happen. The question is; how much fun are you going to give me in enticing you?” She stands from the couch and begins moving toward the door.

“Listen. You don’t need to feel like you have to ask me out because you had a moment of weakness. I swear. I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t hold it against you. Ok? Now if you don’t mind, I have some papers to grade, and I need to check on Lily.” She finishes and opens the door. It takes me a second to gather my words. Make sure I don't say something to spook her. I mean let’s be honest, I am barely hanging on, but right now with her dismissing the moment we just had, it is just pissing me off.

“First of all, Vanessa, don’t ever treat me like I am some common prick who uses chicks and walks away. A real man touches nothing unless it belongs to him and that brings me to point number two. You, my scared little tulip, belong to me. Third, I was not giving you a choice of whether to go or not. I was simply asking you what you like to eat. But, since you can’t decide, I will decide for us. Be ready at 7.” I get up off the couch, lean into her as she stands by the door, and whisper in her ear, “Trust me baby, once you say yes to me, no, will seem like another language. See you tomorrow.” Kissing her neck, I wink and walk out just as Mark pulls up.

“Pedro.” he says opening Lily’s door.

“Mark.” I nod my head knowing he is not going to want to talk with her in front of him. I figure he will pull up to my house in about twenty. We live a couple houses down from one another. Driving home, I can’t help but picture finally getting Vanessa into my house, no scratch that. Our house and our bed. I need her under me, squirming and moaning as I eat her sweet treat before sliding my snake down her throat. Fuck!! I think shaking my head. This is not going to help me at all right now. My jaw behind to grind into my teeth, hiding the tongue that is dying to taste every part of her as I shoot my son or daughter into her belly. I slam my car door a bit too hard everything hitting me all at once.