Ally stiffens, but I don’t stop speaking. “My mother is a good person, but she’s so deep and so lost, that I can’t trust her anymore. She would leave me alone with him so that he wouldn’t turn on her. And even though she knows what he is, and I’ve offered to get her out countless times, she stays with him.
“My grandfather’s money is the last true tie I have to them. And once I have that, my father doesn’t have any power over me anymore. I can come and go as I please, have a relationship with my mother without him trying to force me to do anything.”
I roll over her suddenly, needing her to feel all of me when I say this. “That’s why I’m so sorry for what happened at that picnic, Ally. I sounded exactly like him. And I never want to be like him. I don’t want my children to grow up in fear.”
It strikes me for the first time that I actually want children. Desperately. I’ve never actually allowed myself to think like that, but here with Ally, suddenly that feels real. A life I never imagined before is painted in front of my eyes. All the excitement and opportunities that I had, and all the love and support that Ally had. Along with a woman who’s just as desperate for all those things as a mother.
“Caleb,” she whispers. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s in the past.”
Her hands stroke down my shoulders. “That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t still hurt. And you’re not like him,” she tells me. “You’re not. Any child you have will be lucky to have you as a father.”
“I wasn’t careful, that night. With the nightmare,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m on birth control,” she said. “Though you’ve been making me so tired that I’ve forgotten a couple of day this week. But you’ve used condoms the rest of time. I’m sure we’re fine.”
The surprise burst of disappointment by the idea that she likely isn’t pregnant throws me off. I want Ally to be pregnant? And I realize that yeah, I do. When I imagine that perfect life in the future, it isn’t some anonymous woman by my side. It’s her. And that scares the hell out of me.Sitting on the back porch, overlooking the river, sipping drinks that I’ve made for the two of us, it’s heaven. The loveseat is more than big enough for the two of us, but right now, it seems way too big. And once again, Ally is wearing a very simple dress that looks so totally sexy on her it’s incredible. Sitting here with her is as close to perfect as life can get.
I put my drink on the table and grab hers, too.
“I was drinking that.”
“It can’t wait until you finish it,” I tell her, pulling her into my lap.
It’s like a déjà vu of the first day that we met, only this time, I’m not just working with raw chemistry. I know how her body responds to mine. I know that she shivers when I run my fingers across her ribs, and that she moans when I kiss the underside of her jaw.
I don’t waste time before I slip my hand between her legs, teasing her through the fabric of her panties. “This is the wrong couch for this, isn’t it?” she asks with bated breath.
“I can carry you inside if you like, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re getting fucked.”
Ally moans. “Here is fine.”
Unbuckling my belt, I pull out my cock, already straining in my pants. “The condoms are upstairs.”
“I took my pill,” she said. “Do it.”
I slam up into her, dragging her hips down onto mine, using my new knowledge of her body to hit her exactly where she likes it. “You know what you have to do when we’re like this, Ally.”
Her eyes are wild, already glazed with pleasure. She shakes her head, not understanding. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck and pull her down for a kiss. She tastes sweet like honey and whiskey, and that flavor of just her that I’ve come to crave like nothing else.
“You’re going to beg me,” I say against her lips.
“Never.”
Thrusting up into her, she’s so wet that I know I’m not going to be able to make this last very long for either of us. “You will.”
“No,” she says, but her voice is already wavering. I gather her wrists together behind her back, holding them in one of mine as I find her clit with the other. She’ll be begging me in seconds. It’s one of the things I love about Ally, that our chemistry is explosive, and I know how to make her scream, make her come, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so much enjoyment out of giving pleasure to anyone.