Not My Hero

Emotion wells in my chest, and I clench my jaw.

Mom lets out a sob, then squeezes the words out, “I’m sorry, Colton. I’ll always regret it, but I hope I can make it up to you.”

What about Brady?

How will she make it up to him?

Part of me wants to hug Mom and tell her I forgive her for never protecting us. But, the other half of me is still too angry. Still too raw from losing my brother to such senseless violence.

‘He abused her as well,’ my heart whispers.

Torn in two, I can only shake my head.

I’ve been strong the past four months because I was scared I’d lose her as well. Now that she’s getting better, the cracks are starting to show, and all the heartache is spilling back into my life.

“Please, don’t hate me,” she sobs.

I hate seeing her so upset, and again, I put my mom’s needs before my own, and I pull her into a hug, murmuring, “I don’t hate you. I just need time.”

Mom nods. When we pull back, she says, “I promise to make it up to you.”

Still, I don’t want her dealing with my father alone, and it has me saying, “Don’t make any decisions regarding us without talking to me first.”

Mom nods. “Of course.”

Feeling drained, I start to walk out of Mom’s room, saying, “I’m going to change. I’m taking Brie out so she can show me the town. I think it would do her good.”

“Maybe go see a movie,” she offers an idea.

“If Brie wants to.” I go straight to my room, and shutting the door, I stand and stare at the gray bedspread.

I’ve had to be the strong one for so long, and it’s become hard to trust anyone. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to allow someone control over my life.

Mom wants to make up for where she failed us, but I know from experience that she’s no match for my father. I need to get him out of our lives.Chapter 17BRIEI’ve just changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt when Colton suddenly shouts, “I’ve never wanted your money.”

My heartbeat begins to speed up, and I dart to the door. Peeking into the hallway, I can hear Colton and Mrs. Lawson talking, and it sounds like she’s crying.

Crap. That can’t be good.

What do I do?

“Why now? Is it because of Brie?” I hear Colton ask.

Am I the reason they’re fighting? Is it because I moved in here?

I can’t hear Mrs. Lawson’s reply, and it makes me anxious. I don’t want to be the reason for them fighting.

My hands begin to tremble, and I clasp them tightly together. I take a step backward as my anxiety spikes.

Minutes later, I hear Colton say, “I’m going to change. I’m taking Brie out so she can show me the town. I think it would do her good.”

“Maybe go see a movie,” Mrs. Lawson replies.

“If Brie wants to.”

When Colton comes out of his mom’s room, I dart deeper into my room, so he doesn’t catch me eavesdropping and nervously gnaw at my bottom lip.

Shoot, what do I do now?

Uncertainty fills me, but I know I can’t hide like a coward. My eyes anxiously dart around the room, and a sinking feeling inside me makes it feel as if my stomach is being sucked into a pit.

I need to find out if it’s because of me. As much as I don’t want to, I’d rather go back to my mother than cause Colton and Mrs. Lawson problems.

It’s the right thing to do, but…

I don’t want to go back to my mother.

Feeling at a total loss, my mind races for a solution.

Maybe I can… crap, I don’t know.

Hopefully, I can find a job soon, and I’ll only have to live with my mother until I’ve saved enough to afford my own place?

I inch closer to the hallway and glance at Mrs. Lawson’s closed door, then I turn my gaze to Colton’s. Quietly, I creep closer to Colton’s room. I bring up my hand but hesitate.

I don’t want them fighting because of me.

I bite my bottom lip again, and gathering up the courage, I knock on Colton’s door.

“Yeah?”

I nudge the door open and see Colton lying on his bed with his legs draped over the side.

“Ah…” I begin, but the words dry up in my throat.

I really don’t want to leave.

Colton glances at me, then sits up and mutters, “Oh, hey. Are you ready? Give me a second, and I’ll change out of my school clothes.”

Colton gets up from his bed and walks toward his closet. I shake my head, still clutching the doorknob.

I also can’t stay if it’s causing problems. I can’t do that to them after they’ve been so kind to me.

“I… I didn’t mean to, but I overheard… the fight,” I stammer.