“…ex-cuuuuse me,” I correct. “Mouse just informed me that he needs to use the bathroom.”
That’s how I cover up my ridiculous faux pas—by using my poor, innocent dog as a scapegoat—but Mouse isn’t meant to be a scapegoat, isn’t trained enough for that sort of responsibility. I try to get him to follow after me so we can exit the gymnasium and continue on until we hit the Mexican border, but his paws are locked in place. His attention is singularly focused on Molly.
“He’s really good at stay,” I laugh, trying to tug him again. “Quit showing off, Mouse, c’mon.”
He doesn’t budge.
“I think he likes her,” Olivia says, charming the pants off of everyone in the room.
Mouse whines excitedly and then offers a play bow, trying to gain Molly’s attention, but she’s playing hard to get, sitting politely at Olivia’s feet.
“Madeleine, can I talk to you for a second?”
Adam is trying to draw me to the side of the room by the crook of my elbow, but like Mouse, I don’t budge. My fight-or-flight instincts are kicking in, and I want to go—now.
I tug Mouse and finally, he listens.
“I’m just going to take him outside,” I say, not looking at Adam or Olivia.
I want no part of this awkward exchange.
“Is that the friend you told me about?” I hear Olivia ask as I walk away.
I don’t hear Adam’s reply, and maybe that’s for the best. As it is, I can fill in his reply with whatever I want.
Yes that’s the friend I told you about, the one I’m madly in love with!
Ha.
When I walk out of the YMCA, I see that the rain has started again. Of course it has. It stops for women like Olivia, but for me, there’s a little raincloud perched right overhead. I don’t even bother rushing to my car. What’s the point? My clothes are still damp from earlier.
Mouse tries to claw his way back inside the entire way to the car, and then his whining kicks up another notch when I open the passenger door for him. He doesn’t want to leave, not while the new love of his life is back in that gymnasium.
“Believe me, it’s just puppy love,” I insist. “You’ll get over it.”
We both will.
I feel like a coward for leaving before class is over. Adam asked me to stay so we could talk, but how exactly would we do that with Olivia lingering nearby? I didn’t expect her to still be in Texas. If all she wanted was some closure and an official goodbye, she wouldn’t have brought Molly to the training class; she’d be halfway back to Chicago by now. And if she was still confident enough to show up uninvited with their dog, that means she still sees daylight, and whatever is going on between them is more complicated than I thought.
Complicated.
There’s my favorite word again.
My car starts after the second attempt (thank God) and Mouse whines. I feel like I have to hold it together for the two of us. If I start crying, there’s no going back. Rain beats down on my windshield as I drive the few minutes back to my apartment. I want to give in to the feelings of self-pity and sadness creeping in around the edges, but I won’t do it. My life might seem just as complicated today as it was a few weeks ago, but things have changed.
I sold a house.
I paid my overdue rent.
Mr. Hall isn’t following me around, hounding me for money.
I have an appointment on Monday at the mechanic.
Though it feels like all is lost on this short, sad drive back home, that’s not the case.
The storm kicks up another notch by the time I pull into my apartment complex, and Mouse and I make a run for it just as a gust of wind nearly bulldozes me back. I fiddle with my keys quickly, push open the flimsy door, and usher Mouse inside as fast as possible. He shakes, sending water everywhere. Normally, I would care. Right now, I just want a shower. A hot, uncomplicated shower.
I take my time, letting the water turn from warm to scalding before I step under the stream. It doesn’t solve all of my problems, but it helps. My lavender-scented body wash has a baptismal effect on me. In the ten minutes I lather myself up and rinse off, I decide things are going to be okay no matter what. If Adam and Olivia are back together and about to enter marital bliss, I can take it.
It’s not as if he and I made a commitment to one another. We spent a few weeks having fun. Admittedly, I let myself fantasize about more, especially lately. I didn’t want to indulge myself at the time, but it almost felt like a sign that he bought the white farmhouse. It’s my dream house, and he bought it. Sure, I’m not crazy enough to move in with a guy after only a few weeks of knowing him, but eventually…I imagined us living there together, Adam, Mouse, and me.