“I take full responsibility,” he says, a smile barely visible on his lips.
He’s not taking this seriously, and that only annoys me more. I step under the stream, fully clothed, and push him back against the wall. Within seconds, I’m drenched. My t-shirt clings to my skin and my hair hangs heavy down my back.
“Don’t do it again. When you kiss me like that, I…”
He brushes the hair off my face and tilts my chin up so our eyes meet. His eyes sweep back and forth between mine as if trying to ensure I’m really listening to him when he speaks.
“I won’t let anything happen to you.”
His voice is so sincere and resolute, I believe him.
Which is a relief, because now that I’ve let him have it, I’d really like to take advantage of him in this bathroom. And I do. I slink down to my knees, glad for the denim that softens the bite of the tile floor.
Ethan’s mischievous grin makes him look like a devil in disguise. “Is this part of my punishment?”
“No,” I tease. “That’ll come later, in bed.”Two weeks pass like this and it’s equal parts blissful and maddening. All day, Ethan and I wear our employer-employee hats. We carefully avoid touching one another. There’s very little playful banter and absolutely no kissing, mostly because we’re hardly ever given the opportunity. Hudson always seems to be around, and if he’s not, Robert is, or one of the crew has a question or I’m off working or…
I still eat lunch with the crew, which I now realize really annoys Ethan. He takes it out on me at night, on that small bottom bunk. Every bit of jealousy he feels during the day gets poured into his lovemaking and I’m starved for more. I’m losing my head, which wouldn’t be so concerning except that my heart is already long lost. I’m not sure when exactly that happened, but it’s too late to turn back now. Putting up MISSING posters around camp wouldn’t help because I know the man who stole it and I don’t think he has any interest in giving it back to me. There is no point in trying to cap these feelings, no denying the love I feel toward a man I used to think I despised with every fiber of my being.
We stay together at the camp on the weekends and those days are so lazy and sweet, like a summer romance in a fairytale. We have nowhere to be and no one to answer to. We make love by the lake and swim until we’re exhausted from it. He grills us chicken and burgers and hotdogs and he tugs me down onto his lap while we share our food.
He lies back on his towel, his eyes closed, and I brush my fingers over his chest, reading a book aloud. I think he’s fallen asleep, and I pause, but then one eye peeks open and he insists I continue. With a smile, I pick up right where I left off.
After long days, we fill up that bathtub in the cabin and he washes me off just like I fantasized he would, his hands moving over my soapy, slick skin, his lips on my neck.
A part of me feels guilty for how happy I am. I know how much my mom is struggling and when I get paid again, it feels good to mail home that check, knowing how much she needs it. I insist she keep every penny for herself and for McKenna. I call home a couple times a week, always glad when McKenna updates me with good news about school. Summer will start soon, and she, Lilian, and Brittany have all been accepted to attend a six-week robotics and engineering camp at the University of Texas put on solely for young women. Better still, the camp is completely free to attendees thanks to a generous donation from Michael Dell.
I tell Ethan about it after I hang up the call and he grins, happy for her.
“But wait, why do you look like that?” he asks.
“Like what?”
“Annoyed?”
I immediately ease my expression. “If I looked annoyed, it’s just because I’m hungry.”
His eyes narrow as he studies me. “Do you not want her to go to the camp? Are you worried about her in Austin? Because I could have Isla check up on her, and you and I could even go back on the weekends—”
“No, it’s not that.” I turn and start putting away some of the laundry I left folded on top of the dresser, happy to have an activity that puts my back to him.
“Okay, then what is it?”
“It’s silly. I shouldn’t be jealous of my own sister. I want the best for McKenna.”
“You want to go to Austin?”
I squeeze my eyes closed, annoyed that he can’t read my mind. “No! That’s stupid, I—”