Logan only catches me because on my way out, I realize I haven’t donated yet. I might not have much to spare, but the people who benefit from this charity have even less than I do. I yank open my clutch, grab what little cash I have, and stuff it in a donation box near the door. Logan grabs ahold of my arm just as I’m walking away, and he tugs me to a stop.
“Please don’t leave,” he says in a quiet voice near my ear. He’s trying to keep us from causing a scene.
“Logan.” I turn around to stare up at him with pleading eyes. “Let me go. I truly can’t be in this room. I feel like I might throw up or embarrass myself even more. I’m not mad at you, I promise!”
And it’s true. I’m not. I’m just confused. I want to leave this room and leave this dramatic life Logan leads. I want to get some space from the events of the last twenty minutes so I can put the pieces together in a way that makes sense. I can’t do that here.
I try to get free of his grip, but he doesn’t let me.
“I want no part of this strange love triangle you’ve got going on with Melody.”
“There is no love triangle. I’m not seeing her,” he insists, his voice hard and clear as he leans in close to me. He really wants me to hear what he has to say. “I swear to you, I’m not. I have no idea what she said to you, but the fact is, she and I have only gone out in a group twice. The last time was the night I saw you at District. Nothing has happened since then. Darius and Liz invited her here tonight. She’s not my date. You are.”
Then, because maybe he feels like I still don’t believe him, he leans in and kisses me with the whole room watching.Chapter SixteenCandaceI’m so caught off guard I don’t flinch back right away. We kiss, and I let him try to lure me back to our blissful bubble. My concerns start to creep back into the shadows, but just before they’re gone completely, I break away from Logan and end the kiss.
No. I don’t want this. I need to clear my head.
“Come back to the table?” he asks after I turn my face away from him.
I frown, feeling horrible for having to disappoint him. “I truly can’t.”
Honestly, this night has been a total disaster, and even though I think Logan is telling the truth, I can’t just walk back into the thick of things and act as if nothing has happened. I need a breather and some space. I need a moment to reset and collect my thoughts.
“I’m going home.”
His whole body sort of sags as if he’s never been more disappointed.
“I can’t go with you. I have to stay and take my reserved spot at the table or it’ll look horrible. I’ve committed to being here for the charity.”
My eyes go wide. “Of course! I understand. I wouldn’t expect you to leave with me anyway. I’ll go and we can regroup tomorrow or something? After we’ve had some time to cool off?”
He nods, and I’m not going to lie, it’s extremely awkward to sort of shuffle a step back and break his hold on me. It’s not a breakup, but it feels an awful lot like one. He looks at me like I’m tearing his heart out, and I probably don’t look much better myself.
I force my body to turn and leave. It’s for the best.
Out in the hall, it’s quiet and empty. Everyone is inside there, with the band and the crowd and the noise of it all.
The city street is just what I need, packed with real people and their real problems. No one seems to care at all about me as I reenter it. The photographers have all gone home. Workers are dismantling the red carpet, and I pass by them unnoticed. I know I could call Pat and have him come round to get me, but it doesn’t feel right to ask him to do that. Besides, he’s not my employee. I can’t just ask him to drive me around for free. He’s on Logan’s payroll.
Instead, I start to walk. I’m highly aware of what I’m wearing and how little protection this dress provides me, so I eventually bite the bullet and flag down a cab. It makes my stomach hurt to spend money on things like this. I can’t even look as the ticking dollars start to accumulate as the driver heads back toward my flat.
We don’t talk, and I feel bad for being such a lousy customer. He probably thinks I’m always this rude, but well, I guess we’re all allowed to have a bad day every now and then. When we arrive, I thank him for the trip and try not to groan as I swipe my card and pay for the fare.