Date Me Like You Mean It

“Do you know someone up ahead?” Dan asks, having caught on to the fact that I’m staring straight at Aiden and the girl.

“Oh.” I shake my head and step back into line beside him. “I’m not sure. I thought they looked familiar.”

I want to bolt and run back to Zilker Creative, but instead, I begrudgingly shuffle forward. A dark cloud has settled over me as I peer up at Aiden and the girl again. They’re only a few people ahead of us. I can hear his laugh, and though his words aren’t clear, I’d know his voice anywhere.

“So how are you enjoying your new digs?”

“Digs?” I ask, confused.

“Your new desk—I saw that Elise forced you to move.”

Dan is doing all the heavy lifting in our conversation. I try to block out Aiden and force my attention back to Dan, but it’s like trying to ignore the blare of a bullet train barreling right for you.

The way the line at the deli works, it winds back on itself once you get inside. I know Aiden and I will cross paths. I know I will have to put on a brave face and get introduced to yet another girl. I’ve done it before, lots of times, so I don’t know why today it feels like too great a burden.

Thinking fast, I grab a menu from the wall and hold it up a few inches away from my face at an unnatural angle. No one reads a menu like this. It’s like I have the eyesight of a bat.

“Line’s moving,” Dan tells me because I can’t see for myself.

I hold out my hand to feel blindly ahead of me, not wanting to lower the menu, and I end up accidentally colliding with the person in front of us. My attempt at anonymity is wrecked instantly because my manners insist that I apologize.

“Oh, I’m sorry! Did I get you there?”

At the sound of my voice, Aiden’s head whips in my direction.

I’ve been found out. We’re diagonal from one another, only a few feet apart.

“Maddie,” he says with a little laugh, as if not quite believing his luck.

“Aiden?! What are you doing here?!” I am so shocked, so flabbergasted that he could be here out of all the restaurants in the city that he immediately knows I’m acting.

I drop my menu back to my side and smile weakly.

“You guys know each other?” Dan asks, glancing between me and Aiden.

“Oh, yeah. This is…” My best friend, roommate, secret love of my life. “Aiden,” I supply limply.

“Hey man, I’m Dan. I work with Maddie at Zilker,” he says, politely stretching his hand in Aiden’s direction.

Aiden shakes it, nodding slowly as if trying to connect the dots and having a hard time doing it.

“And who’s your friend?” I ask, finally forcing myself to look at the girl. She has a nose piercing and tiny freckles. Her eyes are a hazy gray.

“Oh, hi. I’m Allison,” she says with a charming little wave.

“She’s the new intern at Texas Monthly,” Aiden volunteers.

“Aiden here is showing me the ropes,” she says with a big smile as she looks up at him. Admiration seeps from her gaze, and my stomach squeezes tight.

I should have left. I should have made up an excuse about irritable bowels and left Dan here to get lunch on his own. This was a mistake.

“Should we eat together?” Dan suggests.

Aiden and I both say no at the same time. Our eyes catch and unnamed emotions war between us. Why did he say no? I said no because I don’t want to endure another minute of Allison drooling all over him, but how dare he turn me down?!

“I have to get back pretty quickly,” I say with an apologetic shrug.

“Same here. Five o’clock deadline,” Aiden confirms.

The line moves forward and we’re side by side now. Aiden’s shoulder brushes mine and I look at him, unsure whether I’ve fully masked the emotions lurking just below the surface. How could you? I ask inside my head. How could you start dating another girl?

I’m not sure how much more fight I have left in me. Two years is a long time, longer than I thought I’d last living under the same roof as Aiden. In the beginning, when my crush was a tiny thing I could mostly ignore, it wasn’t so bad if I saw him with another girl. Now, that crush has ballooned to fill every chamber of my heart so that every beat reminds me he’s the one I want. He’s not supposed to date someone else. He’s supposed to be with me.

“See you at the condo?” he asks, reaching out to pick an invisible speck of lint off my shoulder.

“Elise might keep me late tonight.”

“I’ll wait up.”

“Aiden, we have that work thing,” Allison reminds him. “Cocktails at the Driskill, remember? You said you wouldn’t let me go by myself.”