Fake It 'Til You Break It

“What the fuck does that mean? All the shit that was said between us goes out the fuckin’ window now that all you originally wanted got dropped in your lap?!”

“Don’t.” A quick breath hisses past her mouth.

I know my words aren’t fair, but this is what I’ve feared, her walking away from me.

“Don’t you dare try to turn this on me. You played me this entire time.”

My head tugs back, shock sending a zing down my spine. “What? No! Fuck no!”

“Yeah, Nico, you did.” She nods. “Maybe something changed along the way, or maybe everything you’ve said and we’ve done was a part of the lie, but from the first fucking day, this was about using me to get to him. Admit it.”

What the fuck?!I’m shaking I’m so... I don’t even know what, but everything hurts worse when Nico shouts his denial.

“That is not what this was.” He glares, daring to show a hint of anger he has no right to give. “Not even fucking close.”

A humorous laugh leaves me, and I cup my face with my hands, shielding myself a moment before pinning him with a hard look when I’m feeling anything but tough right now.

“Your dad, Josie, Sandra...” I trail off as a thought hits, my mouth falling open as his grows tighter. “Oh my god.”

“Demi. Don’t.”

“Miranda. He fucked her, too, didn’t he? That’s why you two stopped hooking up over the summer, isn’t it?”

He licks his lips, looking off.

I scoff, but it comes out as more of a cry. “Of course. Of course! You would have fucked her again, wouldn’t you? If only she didn’t let Alex stick his dick in her after you, right? It wasn’t about me or us or anything else you led me to believe.”

“You’re wrong,” he argues weakly, but can hardly meet my eyes.

“Ugh. This must have been so fun for an asshole like you.” I shake my head. “What, did you look at me and say poor, pathetic, boyfriendless Demi, bet she’s naïve enough to fall for my bullshit?” His features grow stiffer. “You said you had something to gain from this, now I know what it truly was – convince me to pretend date you to weasel your way in, and then make it feel so natural, so easy, that I forget the lines between us and believe the lie. All this so you could finally say you screwed him like he has you, and fuck the collateral damage along the way, right?” My brows lift. “Literally, in our case.”

Nico’s spine shoots straight, his jaw clenching. “You don’t even know what you’re saying. How fucking backward you have it.”

“Whatever.” I sniff, looking away, suddenly hit with a wave of exhaustion. “You didn’t have to take it this far.” I shake my head. “You could have walked away before we got here. Unless this was your plan, fake it ‘til you break it.”

“Nothing is fucking broken!”

“I am!” I scream, my voice cracking and making a bigger joke out of me.

Suddenly, Nico is in my face, gripping mine and holding it up to his, and a strong sense of desperation flows from him to me.

“You should have told me,” I whisper, my hands coming up to clasp around his wrists. “You didn’t have to break me to win.”

“Don’t you get it?” he hisses, but the bitterness in his tone does nothing to hide the anxiety in his eyes.

It only confuses me more.

“Why I stayed away from you all this time when you know now how long I’ve wanted you? Why I went about it the fucked-up way I did?” He stresses his question. “I had to trick you into seeing me, Demi, when all I saw was you.”

“All you had to do was show me who you were, Nico. No games, no pretext. I’d have fallen either way.” I’m certain of this.

“You’re not getting it...” He trails off. “It never would have worked.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. I can’t have what I want, Demi. He takes everything.”

“Am I nothing then?” My question is instant, but my voice faint.

His face contorts, his eyes flying between mine. Nico’s words leave him on a strangled breath. “What are you talkin’ about, baby?”

I swallow, slowly pulling away from his hold and his hands fall to his side as I walk backward into the street.

“You said Alex takes everything from you, but he didn’t take me, Nico,” I whisper, a defeated shrug leaving me. “You just stood there, quiet, ready to give me right to him, like nothing.”

I turn and walk away.

There’s no doubt in my mind he’s standing there, following my every step taken, but I don’t dare look.

Once I’m around the corner and out of sight, I allow my shoulders to fall and text Krista to see if she’s home since she’s the closest house to this one, and she texts back instantly, letting me know the girls are over, so I head straight there.