Fake It 'Til You Break It

I head for the locker room to shower and wipe the glitter off my face and arms, and change into my formal attire, but I don’t go back to the game.

He’ll find me.The second the buzzer indicating the end of the fourth quarter sounds, I tear off my helmet, my eyes flying to where I knew the girls to be sitting.

She’s still not here.

Macy lifts a shoulder, looking from them to me, and it hits.

I drop my helmet and take off.

There’re a few teachers in the hall, but I jog right past them, ignoring their shouts of protest.

When I get to that last step though, my feet freeze, my gut twisting.

I take a deep breath, letting my cheeks expand with my controlled exhale and gently push through the door to the rooftop, hanging onto it as it begins to close, erasing any sort of sound I might create.

I don’t know why.

I step around the corner and there she is, standing in a long, deep blue gown, my letterman’s jacket hanging from her hands.

Her hair is curled and down now, hanging loose over her shoulders, eyes lined in black making the green appear brighter, lips a slick, creamy color.

She’s perfection.

My perfection?

“I should have told you,” she says instantly.

I shake my head, approaching her slowly. “We talked about this—”

She holds a hand out, cutting me off. “No, I mean, yes, I’m sorry about that too, but that’s not what I mean. We can fight more about that later if you want,” she says quietly and damn if my chest doesn’t ache, my lips twitching.

She gives a sad smile. “I should have told you where my mind was as soon as I figured it out for myself.”

I reach her, and she places a hand on my chest, looking up at me. “Why are you standing here apologizing to me when I’m the one who fucked this up?” My hands slide into her silky hair and she closes her eyes a long moment. “You have no idea how much I hate myself for putting doubt in your mind. All I ever wanted was to hold you, baby, and to know you wouldn’t force me to let go, but I allowed you to believe you were worth less than other things in my life, when that’s so fucking false, D. You’re worth more than anything I’ve got.”

I slide my palm across her cheek and she leans into my touch. “Tell me I’ve still got you,” I whisper, dropping my forehead to hers.

“You do.” She swallows. “Neek... you have no idea.”

“Say it, baby. Nice and clear for me. Tell me.”

She doesn’t hesitate. “I love you.”

I swallow her words with my lips, and she sighs against my mouth, pulling on my jersey as she tries to get closer. I kiss her, slow and soft for as long as I can until she needs a full breath of air and pulls her lips from mine, all to come back in for another short kiss.

“I want you,” she whispers.

I grip her hair. “I’m all sweaty, baby, and you’re in your dress already.”

“I don’t care.”

I chuckle and step back, bending to grab my jacket off the floor. I hold her gaze, opening it for her and she spins, slipping her hands in but keeps her eyes on me over her shoulder.

I lean in, kissing her once more, then grab her hand and pull her over to the chairs. She drops into the one beside me.

“Me and Alex used to be friends.”

“We don’t have to do this,” she whispers. “Not right now.”

“Yeah, I do. I fucked up not being honest with you. Let me break some of this down, and you can ask me anything you want about it later.”

She nods.

“So, we were friends and a couple weeks before freshman year we went to this party. Alex wasn’t supposed to go, he was grounded or something, but he snuck out anyway. His dad showed up to get him, piss drunk and acting like a fucking dickhead. Alex flew from his seat and was rushing to leave, but his dad decided he was moving too slow, grabbed him by the neck and tossed him out the front door. Alex fell and hit his head on a rock, knocked out cold.”

“Oh my god.” She frowns.

I nod. “His dad just fuckin’ left him there, didn’t even notice or care, I’m not sure. He took off. It took a little less than a minute for Alex to open his eyes, and when he did, he was fucked up, dizzy and said he saw spots in his vision. I helped him up and drove him to the ER myself. I didn’t even have a license, but he had a car, so we took it.” I shrug, a heavy exhale leaving me. “When the nurse asked what happened, I told her. Didn’t think too much of it right then.”