Wrong For Me

I can’t believe he just said that.

“You want me; I know it. For the first fucking time in eleven years, Oakley, I see it. Your desire for me.”

He steps away, and I fight not to reach for him because, if I did, what would that mean? I’d be admitting that I want the man who treated me like dirt for years, the man who embarrassed and harassed me time and time again.

But, worst of all, I’d be admitting that I want the brother of the man I’ve loved for most my life.

I already know I do. I want Alec in a bad way. I want to know him, feel him, everything. But wanting and admitting aloud are two very different things.

Am I ready to give up on Rowan? To move from one Daniels boy to the other?

Alec sees my inner turmoil and scowls at me.

“You can either wait around, hoping, or take what’s already yours.”

My brows draw in more, pressure forming in my chest.

“And I damn sure won’t touch you until it’s clear to everyone that you don’t belong to him.” He walks to the door, angrily pulling it open, but before he exits, he turns to me. “You want me?” He raises a brow. “Show me.”

With that, he storms out, leaving me where I sit.“Hey, Dad,” I whisper, hiding in the storage room.

“Talk to me, Oaks.”

A sad laugh escapes. He could always read me by my tone.

“When are you coming home?”

He sighs through the line. “I don’t know yet, baby girl. Soon, I hope.”

“Dad, where was Alec these last two years? And don’t say you don’t know.”

“He’s been working for me, Oaks. I’ve been in contact with him the entire time.”

“So, he never even went to fight the fires? Is he even a real fireman?”

My dad chuckles. “Yes, he is. And, yes, he did. You sure you wanna hear all this? You don’t wanna ask him?”

“I’m asking you, Dad.”

“Okay.” I hear him sit—wherever he is. “You know how you spent every extra minute at Blackline as a kid and started working there the day the school signed off on your permit?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Alec picked up on your passion.”

“Blaze?”

“Yeah, Oaks. All you wanted was to be a part of the program. Well, all Alec ever wanted was to be a part of you.”

A humorless laugh leaves me. “Please. It was his life goal to make me miserable.”

“Oakley, that’s not fair. You were blind, and I swore to an eighteen-year-old boy that I wouldn’t intervene.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Alec was harsh to you sometimes, yes, but all that came from his need to protect you. It was instinctual for him when it came to you. Instant almost. He saw you right away …”

My brows pinch.

“But, Oaks … you saw Rowan.”

I shake my head even though he can’t see me.

“He waited and hoped you’d come around, but you never did. He joined Blaze for you, Oakley. Became a fireman, a man of honor, for you. He wanted to be his best version of himself … for you.”

“I quit when he joined,” I whisper into the line, feeling completely weighted.

“You did. And he almost gave up, Oakley. Did you know that?”

“No.” I sit up straighter.

“Yep. He personally brought me his withdrawal papers, and I knew instantly that it was because of you. We had a nice long talk, one we were meant to have eventually, and that’s when I knew for sure.”

“Knew what?”

“I knew I’d finally found the man who would lose his life for you, protect you when I no longer could.”

“Dad—”

“When he graduated, he was ready to go after you. Almost did, but things … got in the way. I had my buddy in Pasadena call him out for work. I let him sweat through his anger for a few weeks, fuel his newfound passion in fighting fires, saving lives. Then, I pulled him in for full Blaze work.”

“I have so many questions,” I whisper. “More now than ever.”

“Oakley … I can’t do this over the phone.”

“Then, come home.”

“I can’t, baby girl. Not right now.”

“This whole thing sucks. Everything is messed up with you gone.”

“He’s intense, isn’t he?”

A laugh bubbles out of me. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“Oakley … don’t feel guilty for feeling. Sometimes, things are just meant to be. Remember what I said before?”

I close my eyes, whispering the words he spoke to me, “Be unstoppable.”

“That’s right. Be bold, Oaks. Be brave.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Did Rowan know? About Alec and … everything.”

“You mean, did Rowan know that his older brother wanted what he had but didn’t value?”

I swallow, asking when I already know the answer, “Yeah.”

“Yeah, baby girl, he knew.”

Tears fall freely, running down my face and neck.

Rowan knew. He knew how Alec felt.

When Alec left, Rowan’s and my relationship flatlined, completely on a friend level. When just months before, when Alec had first started hanging around again, Rowan had been warm toward me. He’d call every morning and night, hug me, and kiss my cheek often.