Today’s Nolan’s day and hell if I’ll let anything come in the way of that.
If he knew what I’ve done… what I’ll do yet, though…
But no. I won’t let him. Those who need to know already do.
I shove the blankets off and get to my feet, then pad out to the kitchen. I glance at the clock. Six a.m. The other men went out last night, a bachelor soirée or some such shit, for Nolan. I brooded in the cemetery and walked Megan home.
Party animal. My eyes are blurry from lack of sleep, my head pounding.
Breena will be up in an hour. I’ve got time to squeeze a workout in before we have to get ready for the wedding.
I miss the days when I could throw on running shorts and hit the shore for an early morning run. But I do what I have to, and my primary responsibility is right here, happily sleeping in the other room.
Breena wakes up groggy and bleary-eyed.
“Morning, sunshine.”
An apt nickname. She’s the ray of light that penetrates the darkness that consumes me. I want so badly for it not to affect her, for her to grow up happy and healthy, that I put on a brave face. I give her the best of me, and she’s too young to know anything else.
I go through the motions of getting her ready for the day. I fumble with her hair and try to figure out the dress Maeve bought her for the wedding. There are ties and things and I can’t tell if they go in the front or the back. Bloody hell.
I’m still in my sweaty workout clothes when there’s a knock at the door.
“Carson! It’s Maeve.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief and go to open the door. When I open it, I blink and stare for a moment.
Maeve isn’t alone.
Megan stands beside her. She’s dressed in an emerald green dress that hugs her generous curves, her gorgeous chestnut hair cascading all about her shoulders like someone waved a wand and performed magic. Her eyes are brighter than usual, her round cheeks flushed pink, her mouth parted.
I blink and realize I must look a sight.
“You alright, Carson?” Maeve asks. “Did we wake you?” Her gray-tinged red hair’s tucked into a bun, and her soft green eyes smile at me. Today, she’s the mother-of-the groom for the third time.
My gaze swings to Megan.
Megan’s eyes drop from mine to the sweaty workout clothes that cling to me, a thin tank and running shorts. A hand travels to her throat, and I note how she swallows hard.
“I think… I think Nolan wants you wearing a tux, Carson,” she says. She looks away abruptly, as if she’s just caught me stepping out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around my waist.
Breena grabs Maeve’s hand. “Granny!” She drags her inside, leaving me and Megan standing in the doorway.
I’m half-clothed and glistening with sweat, my hair still plastered to my forehead. “Sorry,” I mutter, running a hand through my wet hair. “Just finished my workout. Thought I’d get Breena ready first, but… bloody hell, hair bows are the devil’s work.”
She grins at me. I blink as if waking from a dream and stare like a love-sick puppy.
“Did you… did you do something with your hair?” I ask, and my voice is strangely husky.
She blinks, then raises her fingers to her hair as if just remembering she had some. “Oh, this?” She laughs. “No, I usually roll out of bed with my hair pinned up in cascades of curls. It’s my superpower.”
I grin at her and she grins back before she clears her throat. “Let me in, Carson?” she whispers.
Jesus, what the bloody hell happened?
I step aside and wave her in. “Of course, yeah,” I mutter. We go inside and Maeve’s got Breena on her lap. She shoos me off to the shower and when I’m finally out and ready, Breena’s hair’s plaited and she looks like a little doll.
“Don’t you look the picture,” I say softly to myself. She runs to me and reaches her arms out. I pick her up, toss her into the air, then catch her. She giggles.
Maeve tidies up. “Where’s the nanny, Carson?” she asks. “She should’ve been here helping you with Breena.”
I tell them about the note I got this morning. Maeve shakes her head and Megan tsks.
“’Tisn’t right, standing you up on a day like today.”
“Aye,” I mutter.
“I’ll help you with Breena today,” Megan says. Our eyes meet, and the same heightened awareness passes between us as the night before.
“Thank you.”
“We need to get moving,” Maeve says, seemingly oblivious to the sparks flying between us. “They’re wanting to take some pictures before the ceremony.”
The day passes in a blur. I stand beside my brothers when we witness Nolan and Sheena take their vows at Holy Family Church before we head back to the McCarthy house. It’s been decorated with lavish bouquets of flowers, many cut right here from the gardens and greenhouses on the estate. We watch Nolan and Sheena take their first dance, then Keenan and Caitlin join them. Cormac and Aileen come next, and I realize all the men of the Clan are taking the dance floor.