“No work. I was going to get some errands done in town, maybe get some shopping in.” He grimaces, and I laugh. “None of you like shopping, do you?”
He shakes his head. “Ah, no,” he says. “Though I could be persuaded if there was a promise of lunch at D’Agostino’s. I’ve got nanny interviews today, but they’ll be finished up in the morning.”
“That’s perfect,” I tell him. “So I’ll watch wee Breena while you interview, and then we can get lunch in town.”
“Good plan.”
Breena claps her hands. “Megan!”
Oh, I love her. I reach over and tug a little lock of her hair. “Let’s plait that pretty head of hair before we go out, hmm?”
He cleans up the dishes while I get Breena ready, and it’s seamless teamwork. People talk about the passion in new love, the sex, the excitement, the newness of it all. And that right there is amazing. But this right here is where my heart longs to rest, in the perfect balance of simple pleasures. Companionship.
We get ready for the day and I put my bag away in his closet. I know before we’ve even discussed it that tonight, I’ll be coming back here. I feel something hard press up against my hand, and it isn’t until then that I remember the diary.
My stomach clenches. I hear Carson in the kitchen with Breena. She’s asking for a cup of juice, and he’s opening the fridge. It feels as if… the longer I let this go, the harder it will be to bring up. How do I explain to him that I found Eve’s diary? How do I explain that I read it without telling him, then let it get ruined before he could even take a look? It feels like betrayal, and the stern men of the Clan would likely not think any differently.
I put the bag in the closet and tell myself, tonight, tonight I will tell him. Just get it over with. I mean, it’s Carson, right? What could possibly go wrong? He’s got a heart the size of a mountain. Surely he’ll understand.
And then I remember being pushed over the bed and strapped last night. A part of me’s turned on by being dominated, aye, there’s not a doubt about it. But at the same time… I have to wonder. I’ve seen how stern he can go, how hardened. And I can’t forget the look on his face when he mercilessly took the life of my assailant in Stone City. I can’t let myself forget that Carson Flynn can be as vicious as the rest of them.
I love those men as if they were my brothers, and they’re my very flesh and blood, but I know who they are. I know their unwavering dedication to Clan code, their inflexible loyalty. And certainly, Carson’s loyal to the memory of his beloved. I couldn’t love him as I do if he wasn’t.
But it doesn’t matter how ruthless he can be or what the outcome of my telling him about the diary may be. None of that matters, because I have to tell him the truth. The longer it goes on without me telling him, the worse this is.
“Fancy a walk?” he asks. “Need to meet my brothers up at the mansion, but they won’t eat for another hour.”
I look at the time. “Bloody hell,” I mutter. “Didn’t even know it was this early. You two are early birds, aren’t you?”
“Aye,” he says with a grin.
“A walk sounds lovely.”
I don’t have a jumper with me, so he lends me one of his, for it’s chilly by the shore in the morning. Breena toddles along the shore, picking up bits of shells and pointing with glee at the gulls that soar overhead. The salty air tingles my senses, his hand is warm in mine, and I love the feel of his much larger sweatshirt on me. It smells faintly of him, his masculine scent lingering.
Ten minutes into our walk, he freezes, and I watch as his body goes rigid. His eyes are trained on the ocean. I follow his gaze and see a fleet of ships heading our way.
“What is it?” I ask him. It’s nothing unusual for ships to come this early in the morning, not with the vast quantities of imports and exports here.
He shakes his head, “Nothing.”
But it isn’t nothing. “That isn’t true, Carson. You can’t lie to me.” I feel a pang of remorse. I’m not lying to him, I tell myself. I just haven’t told him the whole truth. And that’s different… isn’t it?
I wonder if good, sweet Caitlin would agree, or Maeve.
“Those cargo ships aren’t due until this evening,” he says, but as soon as he says it, he looks as if he wishes he hadn’t. “But it’s nothing. Sometimes shipments shift is all,” he says with a shake of his head.