Code Name Ghost (Jameson Force Security 5)

“Have you told him that?” I demand.

Kynan nods. “In our debriefing. And while I’m not privy to their conversations, I believe Malik should be working through those issues with Corinne. It’s why I insisted he counsel with her.”

“Oh,” I reply numbly, trying to process everything he’s telling me. It’s so overwhelming that I can’t quite accept the little kernel of happiness flaring inside me at the knowledge Malik has no culpability in Jimmy’s death.

But then I instantly question myself. Should I be more outraged Malik hadn’t protected Jimmy? I mean, he was my husband. Shouldn’t I be holding Malik to the same cruel and unreasonable standard he seems to be placing upon himself?

Immediately and unequivocally, the answer is clear.

No, I can’t do that.

Kynan has told me that numerous witnesses besides Malik have all said the same thing. He not only wasn’t responsible for Jimmy and Sal in those brutal moments they were killed, but it also seems as if it were only by luck he wasn’t killed, too. It was awful he was captured, but at least he eventually came home alive.

On top of that, it kills me to know that not only has Malik been blaming himself, he’s also probably never even accepted the gratitude and praise that probably came his way from saving the British guys.

I bolt up from the chair, pulling my hands away from Kynan. “I have to go.”

I have to find Malik to make him believe it’s not his fault. I’m sure I can make him see that. He has nothing to be ashamed of, and I’m simply going to have to insist he quit blaming himself because no one else is doing that.

I make it to the door before Kynan’s soft issuance of my name stops me in my tracks. “Anna.”

Turning hesitantly, I glance over my shoulder.

“Be careful,” he murmurs.

“I’ll be careful with him,” I promise.

Kynan shakes his head. “No. Be careful with yourself. Your heart is as vulnerable as Malik’s right now. Both of you are in dangerous territory.”

It’s foreboding, the expression on his face, yet it would never make me back down. “It’s not about us right now,” I tell him with a confident lift of my chin. “This is strictly about Malik learning to accept what really happened.”

Kynan inclines his head, accepting my zeal to make this right. “Perhaps a visit to Corinne first. She might have some advice that could be helpful.”

“Good idea,” I reply with a smile. “Thanks.”

“Sure thing,” he says softly.

I start for the door again, but then another thought strikes me. I whip back around. “Um… just to be clear… is there any kind of company policy about… um…”

“Fraternization?” he teases.

“Not sure that’s the word I would use, but yes… can members of Jameson date?”

“I’m sure Rachel and Bodie would tell you it’s not only possible, but it’s also quite rewarding,” he replies with a chuckle.

That heartens me. I give him one more smile before dashing out of his office and making a beeline right to Corinne’s.CHAPTER 17MalikI shove a new magazine into the Desert Eagle .44 Magnum, extend my arms, and sight the target, which is thirty feet away. Squeezing off eight fluid shots, I relish the feel of having a gun back in my hand. It’s beyond cool Jameson has its own indoor firing range on the third floor of the building.

The walls and floors are reinforced concrete—not only for bullet protection, but also for noise cancellation so it doesn’t impinge on the other floors.

After I flip the button to bring the target back, I pull my ear protectors off.

Not bad. Cluster shot of four to the chest, four to the head.

Surprising, since my hands haven’t felt very steady today.

I’d like to say what has my nerves all jammed up is from finally telling Anna the truth last night, but it was really the last kiss we’d shared. It was when I knew the bond we had definitely transcended more than friendship, and it was firmly in the category of sexual attraction.

Of course, it’s made worse by the fact I’ve told her the truth, so now there’s a divide between us I doubt can ever be bridged, not only from paving a way for us to perhaps explore this attraction, but from even being able to have a friendship. And as much as I want Anna—which I can now fully admit—her friendship is what’s really important.

“Not bad,” I hear from behind me. I pivot around to find Kynan standing there.

“Ready to get back in the field,” I assure him.

“Hmm,” is all he replies with.

“My weight is almost back to normal, and I’m close to hitting my former PRs in the gym.”

Kynan considers this with a nod. “Physically, it does seem you’re there.”

It left the unspoken floating out there—outside of the physical, am I ready?

“Sessions with Corinne have been good,” I say with a firm lift of my chin. “I’ve not held a single thing back from her. She’ll corroborate that.”