I expect Cage to blow me off because first and foremost, he’s a man, but more than that, he thinks nothing of going out on dangerous missions. He lives for that stuff. It makes him feel alive, and he has a passion for this. It’s why I hate to even bring it up to Malik because he loves doing this type of work.
Instead, Cage leans forward in the chair, bending and planting his elbows on his thighs so his hands hang loosely between his knees. He regards me as a conundrum. “You know the chances of something bad happening are minimal.”
“Doesn’t seem to matter to me,” I reply resolutely.
“Have you talked to him about this?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I pick up a pen on my desk and start twirling it in my fingers. “I’ve just had this low, uneasy feeling over the last few days, which I really wasn’t sure what to make of. But now you’ve told me he’s back to training and slated to go on a hostage exchange in a dangerous country, it has sort of made me terrified now. This is the first time I’m voicing this stuff.”
“Then I’m going to hand you the same advice you just gave me. You need to talk to him about this.”
“And what? Tell him I don’t want him going on dangerous missions anymore? Take away a career that makes him happy? Make him hate me?”
“I doubt he’ll hate you,” Cage offers.
“If I make him give it up, he will.”
He ponders this. “Maybe you’ll find a happy medium?”
“And what exactly would that look like?”
Cage shrugs as he stands from the chair. “I have no clue, Anna. That’s something you and Malik are going to have to figure out on your own. I suggest you talk and soon, seeing as how he’s going on the training mission with us tomorrow to Ft. Bragg.”
“He’s going on that too?” I exclaim. Before he can answer, I ask, “What kind of training?”
“Military free fall,” he replies with a grin. “It’s going to be fucking awesome.”
I roll my eyes. Having been stationed at Ft. Bragg—which is where I met Jimmy—I know all about HALO and HAHO jumps. Jimmy did plenty, and there’s a small worry about a loved one’s chute not opening and them plummeting 17,000 feet to the ground. But I’d rather have Malik jumping out of a plane every day for the rest of his life than going into the jungles of a violent Latin-American country to rescue hostages from guerillas.
It seems we really do need to talk. I have no clue if I even want him to give this up for me. Maybe I just need him to acknowledge my fears. Maybe I just need his reassurances he’ll be okay.
But I remember Jimmy telling me the same thing before he left. Telling me he’d be safe and they had the entire operation planned out with such precision it would be a cakewalk.
Jimmy had lied to me.
Malik probably would, too, just to keep me from worrying.
The real question is simply going to boil down to the fact of whether I can live my life caring for someone who has an incredibly dangerous job and could die on any given day.CHAPTER 25MalikI have to admit I haven’t felt this wholly good in a long damn time. It’s certainly been returning to me in pieces… a feeling life could potentially be good again.
Starting with my rescue in the cold desert night, to being reunited with my family, to the simple pleasures of eating good food.
Being back at Jameson, and, of course, to meeting Anna.
Getting to know Anna.
Bonding with Anna.
Being with Anna.
All steps along the way to healing and taking back control.
It seems as if the last piece of the puzzle has been put back into place, a complexly shaped piece where all the edges had to align just perfectly to pop in. But when Kynan accepted I was ready to go back on full duty—when he essentially says he trusts me with the lives of the team again—then that was the final pivotal moment where Malik Fournier could say he had his life back in its entirety.
It’s with this amazing feeling of accomplishment I make my way down from the fourth floor to the second with the intention of seeing Anna. After my meeting with Corinne this morning, then Kynan, I hit the gym for a hard workout followed by a quick shower. I had considered getting packed up for the training excursion to Ft. Bragg tomorrow, but figured I’d have time to do that later.
For now, I just want to see Anna to tell her the good news. That I’ve been released by Corinne and Kynan has me back on the team roster with the big boys.
After I jog down the floating staircase, I jump the last two steps to reach the second floor. I turn left, my gaze immediately landing on Anna through the glass wall of her small office. Cage is in there, sitting in her chair, and it looks like they’re having an involved discussion. He shrugs as he stands from the chair, which means whatever they’re talking about is probably wrapping up.