Or maybe it’s because I held her similar to this at the State dinner every time we danced, and it was obvious she liked it as much as I did.
Regardless, she easily sinks into me and presses her cheek to my bare chest. She doesn’t even hesitate to wrap her arms around my waist as mine go around her upper back. I do nothing but hold her for several moments, and she lets me.
Eventually, Barrett shifts slightly and turns her head. Whether it’s intentional or not—and I don’t really give a fuck either way—her lips brush slightly across my chest before she tilts her head back.
Christ, she’s beautiful. What started out as an embrace of empathy feels a little different right now. Like my skin is tingling where her lips touched my breastbone, and her soft curves feel lush pressed against my torso. Her mouth parts slightly and her eyes roam over my face, seemingly searching for something.
We stare at each other, and it feels almost dreamlike. It’s easy to forget I’m her protector and she’s a job for which I’ll be well compensated.
Instead, all I see—all I feel—is a beautiful, vulnerable woman in my arms. I’m incredibly attracted to her, but in the past, I never would have let myself act on it.
Before I can even wonder if I should act on it, because perhaps I’m misreading the need I think I see in her gaze right now, Barrett surprises me by leaning into me, head tipped up so our mouths are just millimeters apart. With no control over my body, I dip my head closer to her.
Her breath wafts out, blowing across my mouth in a gentle caress, and I realize I’m at a dangerous crossroads.
I should drop her like a hot potato.
Back right off this damn bed, man.
But she fucking slays me when she whispers, “Kiss me, Cruce.”
“Bad idea,” I warn gently.
“Kiss me,” she says again. This time, it’s not a plea but an order. “Make me forget about things, even if just for a moment.”
A moment?
Is she really that naïve?
Does she think all I would ever want is a moment with my mouth on hers?
“Barrett,” I mutter, forcing myself to pull slightly away.
Her eyes soften. Beg.
Fucking begs.
“Please,” she whispers, one of her hands slipping behind my neck and putting pressure on it.
Urging me closer to her.
Fuck if I don’t let her pull me, and then our mouths touch.
It’s fucking electrifying, something I wasn’t expecting. In every scenario I’d fantasized, I’d suspected kissing Barrett would be a slow melding. Instead, a bolt of lust surges through me and my eyes roll to the back of my head.
She gasps in surprise, and I know she feels it too. I know it because her hand grips the back of my neck hard, holding me to her.
Fuck me.
This has to stop, but… maybe we can let this go on for just a moment more. My head slants, her mouth opens farther, and my tongue invades. Barrett’s fingers move into my hair, gripping hard and holding me tight. One of my hands moves to her lower back to press her tighter to me, and I don’t spare a moment’s guilt over the erection that’s starting to occur.
Goddamn, it’s an excellent fucking kiss, even if it is so very wrong.
I pull back, my hands going to her shoulders to hold her away from me. Her chest is rising and falling, lips wet and swollen, and expression one of utter confusion.
“We can’t,” I say in explanation.
Confusion morphs to hurt, and that causes my chest to squeeze again.
I shake my head. “Barrett… it’s not a good idea. I can’t afford the distraction.”
Hurt gives way to anger, and her eyes flash hot. “I am not a distraction.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I growl, pulling her slightly closer to me with my hands at her shoulders. Leaning down, I put my face in front of hers. “I mean I can’t get lost, and that fucking kiss right there made me want to sink down with you and never come up. I can’t lose focus. My job is to protect you and nothing else.”
Immediately, understanding dawns. Relief fills me when her face softens. She nods before lowering her gaze. “I get it. And I’m sorry I came on to you.”
“It was mutual,” I say, rushing to her defense.
Stubbornly, she tilts her chin up. “I started it by asking you to kiss me,” she insists.
We stare at each other until she gives me a halfhearted smile. “It was a damn good kiss, though, right?”
“Words fail to describe it,” I assure her.
Smile widening, she leans against the pillows and my hands fall from her shoulders. My fingers want to continue to grasp onto her, but I reluctantly let go.
Slowly, I rise from the bed and take a much-needed step back. She avoids eye contact by reaching for the bottle of water.