I blink furiously, trying to process what he’s saying. Is he telling me that feelings are involved for him, too?
I pull slightly away, turning my neck so I can see him. “You’re at risk?”
He doesn’t answer, but his eyes bore deep into mine. “I’m a different man than I was when you knew me twelve years ago, Jos. I’m harder. Rougher. My… appetites are a bit different. You might fall into something you’re not ready for.”
“But what about you?” I press, needing to know this isn’t a one-sided thing. “If it’s just sex, let’s agree on it. But if there’s a chance it’s more… I need to know the stakes.”
Kynan’s eyes close slowly, but stay that way only a moment. When they open, they’re determined. “There’s never been a woman like you, Joslyn. In twelve bloody years, no one’s ever come close. You’re fucking right I’m at risk.”
Relief fills me as well as an overwhelming urgency to discover exactly what he means. A thrill of expectations rush up my spine as wetness floods my panties.
Becoming emboldened, I move my hand backward to see just how different, cupping his hardness through his jeans. I squeeze him roughly. Kynan groans, thrusts his hips forward, then chuckles darkly in my ear. “Do you want that?”
“Yes,” I rasp. God, do I want it.
“You’re going to have to work for it.”
It takes a moment to process what he says, and I turn around to face him. It isn’t lost on me that I have no clue how to proceed. I am the same nineteen-year-old girl who apparently hasn’t led a very imaginative sex life since Kynan and I split twelve years ago.
But I do have something that has always been a part of my makeup, and I remember when there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for this man had he asked. He definitely has something I want, and I’m willing to do what it takes to get it.
Another realization.
There’s power in that as a woman.
I smile as I place my hands on his belt buckle. “Tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it.”
Fire flashes in Kynan’s eyes as he bares his teeth in challenge. In a flash, he’s pulling me hard into him for a kiss. His mouth covers mine. Consumes me from the inside out. One of his hands goes to the back of my head, the other to my ass to pull me flush against his hard cock.
He rips his mouth from mine, biting at my lower lip along the way. The sting of it makes me ache with need.
Rubbing a thumb roughly over my lower lip, Kynan’s dark words thrill me beyond anything I could imagine. “I want something from you, Joslyn.”
My chest is heaving, and it’s hard to formulate words. “What’s that?”
“Your mouth on me,” he growls before flashing me a feral grin as he starts to take his belt off.
I want to fall to my knees right this second, because he’s asking me to. I’d gladly do it. I remember the taste of him from so long ago, and I want it on my tongue again. I loved the power of having him in my mouth.
“Turn around,” he orders gruffly. The hair on the nape up my neck prickles when his belt makes a hissing sound as he pulls it free from the loops.
My legs start shaking, and I can feel how embarrassingly wet I am just from what little bit of foreplay we’ve had—mostly from his words and dark promises.
I turn slowly away from him, staring blankly at the interior of my closet.
“Hands behind your back.”
“Kynan,” I murmur, not in defiance but in total supplication.
“Now, kitten,” he replies with a low chuckle.
Kitten.
He used to call me that.
My hands go behind my back. Almost immediately, he’s looping the thick leather of his belt around them. He cinches it tight to where I can’t free myself, but there’s not an ounce of pain with it.
Kynan comes around to my front. I lower my gaze automatically, instinctually submissive although I’ve never been tied up in my life.
“Oh, no you don’t,” he chides, putting his finger under my chin. He forces my eyes up to meet his. “You keep your eyes on me at all times. I promise you, Jos… you’re in charge here.”
I shiver.
“For now, that is,” he amends.
Shivers turn into full-body shudders.
“Eyes on me,” he says in reminder, then levels me with a rakish grin. “And get on your knees.”CHAPTER 19KynanI’d love to be able to tell Joslyn when she wakes up it’s been twelve long years since I’ve stayed all night in bed with a woman, but I can’t.
There have been others.
Would she understand the countless women who have warmed my bed through the night were mainly due to over-consumption of alcohol? Or plain indifference? Laziness?