Ride or Die (Rejects Paradise 4)

Seconds turn into minutes and by the time half an hour has ticked by, I can finally breathe easy and remember my desperation for the toilet.

I get myself sorted out, and a few moments later, I sit on the floor, too disgusted to go anywhere near the bed. I pull out Colton’s phone and quickly put in his passcode before staring down at the screen. There are a million missed calls, and I don’t doubt that they’re all from Colton.

Knowing that when I call him back, he’s going to refuse to hang up, I go through the messages and realize that Colton must have told Eli, Sebastian, and Kai, that I have his phone. I can guarantee the unread messages from them on Colton’s phone are certainly not for him.

I open up the messages from Eli.

Elijah - Ocean, I’m so fucking sorry. I failed you. What did you think you were doing walking in there?

Elijah - Please answer me, girl.

Elijah - You fucking hate me, don’t you? I told them all that you’re pregnant. I’m sorry, I had no fucking choice. I had to break my promise. They needed to understand why you went there.

Letting out a sigh, I move onto Kai.

Kairo - You should have come to me. If you were hurting or needed help, I would have been there. Not them. Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you’ve just gotten yourself in?

Kairo - I know you got that rich boy’s phone. Don’t act like you haven’t got my message.

Kairo - Fuck, Ocean. Just tell me that you’re still fucking breathing.

My jaw clenches as I read over his texts twice and then three times. If only he knew what Nic had really done. I wonder if he’d change his tone. Surely he must know that after everything we’ve been through over the past few months, coming to them is just not an option anymore.

Not wanting to linger on it, I move along.

Sebastian - I don’t even know what to say to you. I want to hate you for going to them. I’ve never felt so fucking betrayed by you, but at the same time, you’re hurting. I don’t know how to help you. Eli told us about the baby, and I swear, if you decide to keep it, I’ll be there. I’ll do whatever you need. Just don’t shut me out.

Sebastian - I love you, Ocean. We all do. Please come home.

His text has a tear coming to my eye, and I want to hate him for it. How is he so good at getting me right where it hurts? Sebastian knows me too damn well.

Needing to get this over and done with, I create a group text with all three of them and start hashing out a response.

Ocean - I’m sorry. I know you’re all hurting and can’t understand why I came to the Wolves. Please know that I love you all and would never intentionally try to hurt you, but I’m out of options. If only you knew the full story, knew what I knew … then you might understand. I never intended to hurt you guys. You’re always my family, and I hope that one day you’ll be able to forgive me for this, but I stand by my decision. I have to see this through. I have to end this. Not only for my sake, but for yours and Colton’s, but most of all, for my baby.

Taking a deep breath, I hit send and watch as the message shoots up the screen.

Fear rattles me as I watch the little notification, telling me that each of them has received the message and are reading it, but I don't linger on it. I exit out of the messages app and bring up the number that Colton had been calling me on.

I put the phone to my ear, and as I curl into a shivering ball on the floor, I listen as the phone rings.

“Jade,” Colton rushes out, barely allowing the phone to complete a whole ring before answering. “Are you okay? Are you coming home?”

“No,” I murmur, trying to keep my voice low so that I don’t alert the rest of the den to the fact that I'm alone in a bedroom with minimal exits. “I have to stay here for a while. He won’t let me go until I’ve earned his trust. He thinks I’ll run back to the Widows if I leave.”

“That’s fucking bullshit. Doesn’t he know what happened? As if you’d ever go back there.”

“I know, but they’ve been watching me for years. They know how close I am with the boys.”

“Really? How close are you? Because this morning when I said that I was coming after you, not one of them was willing to come with me. They were too caught up with the possibility that they’d get a bullet through their head. But they should know that if they ever fail to fight for you like that again, that the bullet will be delivered by me.”