Not Meant To Be Broken

“Whatever there is between us is over, Brittany,” I told her. As long as I wasn’t sure about my feelings for Amber, I couldn't keep seeing Brittany. I needed to sort out the mess that was my emotions. I could practically see my father rolling his eyes at me. Emotions weren’t something he approved of.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“It means that we won't see each other anymore,” I said calmly.

Brittany looked as if she wanted nothing more than to slap my face. Maybe I deserved it, but we’d never been exclusive. It wasn’t as if this was a break up. She lifted her chin, glowering at me. “We'll see about that, Zach,” she said icily. She got into her car and drove off. She’d probably tell her father who would then call my father who would then call me.

“She looked angry,” Brian commented as I walked up to him.

“I told her that it’s over between us. She didn’t take it too well,” I said flatly.

“I'm glad you got rid off her. She's such a bitch.”

I chuckled. “Says the man who's dating Lauren.”

“Lauren isn’t like Brittany,” he objected.

I rolled my eyes. Lauren was a bitch. Everyone knew that. This was proven once more when Brian dropped me in front of the apartment building and drove off because Lauren needed to see him. They were supposed to study together. The girl was a control freak.

***

I was surprised when I entered the apartment to find Reagan and Amber sitting on the sofa.

“Hi girls,” I greeted them and walked past them toward my room to drop my bag before I returned into the living room. I could tell that they’d been discussing me, but I wasn’t sure if it was because I’d messed up in some way, or if it was general girl talk.

“So, Zach, have you plans for the afternoon?” Reagan asked with a wide grin. I raised my eyebrows and chanced a look at Amber but she was avoiding my eyes. I frowned at Reagan. “No, why?”

“Great. We want to go ice-skating. Kevin, Amber and I, and we thought you'd like to join us?” It was worded as a question but Reagan looked like she would cause me bodily harm if I refused. Not that I would have, since I wanted to spend more time with Amber but I wasn’t sure if she was comfortable with the idea of ice-skating on an ice-rink filled with people. And what was more: this sounded suspiciously like a ploy from Reagan. Was she playing match-maker? I really hoped she hadn’t talked Amber into this.

Reagan stood. “So what do you say?”

“I'm in,” I said. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Amber smiling slightly and exchanging a look with Reagan. What the hell was going on?

***

Thirty minutes later, we arrived at the ice-rink and luckily it wasn’t as crowded as I'd expected but it wasn’t exactly deserted either. There were definitely more people than I thought Amber could handle. We borrowed skates and sat down on a bench near the ice. Amber's eyes kept flitting toward the ice and the people on it while she put on the skates. I sat next to her, keeping a few inches between us. She seemed comfortable with my closeness and I couldn't stop thinking of how she'd let me touch her cheek last night. She turned her head and caught me staring at her. She blushed.

“Have you ever ice-skated?” I asked to distract her from her obvious embarrassment.

“Yes, but that was when I was twelve. I'm not sure how good I'm at it,” she admitted.

I smiled at her. “Don't worry. I'm sure you'll do fine.” I rose to my feet and realized with a start that Reagan and Kevin were already on the ice, having left Amber and me alone. Amber put her gloves on and stood, swaying slightly on the skates. I would have steadied her but I wasn’t sure if she'd appreciate my touch. Instead I went ahead and waited for her on the ice. She grabbed the boards tightly when she stepped onto the ice. I could tell that it would take time for her to get used to the feeling of being on skates. I'd played ice-hockey for a few years when I was a kid and felt confident on ice but I wasn’t sure how to help Amber. She turned around to me, smiling apologetically. “You can go ahead. You don't need to wait for me.”

I grinned at her. “You're the only reason why I'm here.” The words had left my mouth before I could stop them and I awaited Amber's reaction with trepidation. I wasn't sure what I'd expected but certainly not what Amber did. She smiled at me and her cheeks tinged a soft pink. I smiled at her in return, feeling happier than I'd felt in forever. Amber bit her lip and let go of the boards. Slowly, she extended her gloved hand and held it out to me. “Maybe you can help me?”

I was stunned and I hoped it didn’t show. I curled my fingers around her hand, careful to keep my grip light. “Okay?” I asked.

She nodded simply. Slowly, I led her across the ice, steadying her with my grip on her hand. Her hold tightened a few times when she swayed. She never let go of me. I kept my eyes on our surroundings, trying to avoid getting too close to other people. There was an arm length between Amber's body and mine, and I longed to get even closer to her but I didn’t want to push my luck. Suddenly, her left skate slid to the side and she lost her balance. It was a split second decision – either I'd let her fall to the ground and maybe hurt herself, or I’d steady her with my other arm. It was more instinct than anything else as I wrapped my arm around her waist to keep her upright. Her body tensed beneath my touch and I let go of her waist as soon as she'd regained her balance. To my surprise she kept a hold on my left hand, not giving any indication that my arm around her waist had bothered her. “Thank you,” she said.

She was trying to be strong and I admired her for it. I caught Reagan and Kevin watching us with smiles on their faces but I tried to ignore them. I wanted to be angry with them for meddling in my life but when I felt Amber's hand in mine as we slid across the ice, I almost felt the need to thank them.

Amber

I'd wanted this for so long, so very long, this taste of normalcy. Being a part of normal life. The feeling was elating, almost intoxicating. Was this happiness? It was very close. Closer than I'd been in years. The smile didn’t leave my face and for once it wasn’t forced. It felt so easy to smile around Zach.

You're the only reason why I'm here. Zach's words kept repeating themselves in my head and they filled me with strange warmth. He liked me. Maybe Reagan was right and he didn’t just see his best friend's sister when he looked at me. It made me hopeful and, though, I knew it was dangerous for me to allow myself to hope, I couldn't help it. I chanced a look up at Zach's face. At his strong jaw, his blue eyes, his high cheekbones. For a second, his eyes darted to me. He squeezed my hand gently as we continued gliding over the ice. Maybe it was because of the gloves between us but I didn’t mind his touch at all, instead of frightening me, it gave me a strange sense of being safe. How was that even possible? Zach was huge and strong. He was everything I’d been scared of in the last three years, and yet I wasn’t afraid of him.

“Hey!” Reagan's voice carried over to us and I found her standing with Kevin near the exit of the ice and she was waving. “Let’s grab dinner!”

Zach and I exchanged a disappointed look and skated over to where they stood. I could have spent hours skating beside Zach, his hand around mine, his body so close that I could feel his warmth. Reagan flashed me a grin when Zach wasn’t looking and I had to stifle laughter. Zach and I stepped off the ice; we were still holding hands. I stared down at our gloved hands in amazement. It felt so good. Zach followed my gaze, then met my eyes. I wished I knew what was going on in his head. He didn’t let go of my hand until we’d sat down on a bench to remove the skates from our feet. His warmth lingered on my skin and I wondered how it would be to touch him without gloves. I missed Zach's touch. His hand around mine was a feeling I wanted to experience over and over again. Reagan scooted over to me. “Looks like it’s going great between you and Zach. You are so sweet together. You’d make such a cute couple.”

I cast a quick glance at Zach to make sure he hadn’t overheard what Reagan had said but he was talking with Kevin about one of his professors.

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We had dinner at the rink. Fries and burgers, but I hardly tasted what I was eating because I was too distracted by the way Zach kept looking at me.

***

We arrived back at the apartment building and stepped into the elevator together. I pressed my back against the wall. The space was too small for me to feel comfortable. That definitely hadn’t changed. Reagan took my hand in hers and I squeezed her fingers, silently thanking her for her support. I didn’t dare to look at Kevin or Zach to see if they noticed anything. It wasn’t as bad as last time, but as soon as the doors slid open, I stepped out and drew in a deep breath. Kevin and Reagan waved at us and headed for their apartment. Suddenly I felt nervous about being alone with Zach. I felt like something had changed between us, but I wasn’t sure if Zach felt the same way.