“It didn’t have to be that way. After everything I’ve been through in my life, I’ve never felt this betrayed, Elena. And I didn’t expect that treachery to come from you, someone I trusted with my life.”
“It’s not like I deliberately did anything to you,” I say in my defense. “I had to disappear. And for eight years, I’ve been safely hidden away, living my life. I will not apologize for loving that life, Carmine.”
“So, you go away, and you live your fun life away from the family for eight fucking years. None of us knows. And then one day, you attend a funeral, and we find out about it, and we’re supposed to just leave you be?”
“So you did recognize me.”
“I’d know you anywhere,” he says. “Not only did you betray me by leaving, but now I have to punish you, Elena. I have to hurt you, the one person in this world that I never want to hurt. All because you couldn’t be loyal to the family.”
“I DIDN’T CHOOSE THIS FAMILY!” I yell, surprising us both. “I don’t want any part of this life, Carmine. And I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings because I love you so much, but the mafia life isn’t something I want.”
“That’s not how this works, and you know it.” He paces away and then comes back to me again. “You don’t get to fucking choose.”
“Now you sound like my father.”
“Your father was a pitiful excuse for a human being. He was a horrible boss, and a deplorable husband and father. But in this, he wasn’t wrong, Elena. You don’t walk away from this family, or from this life. Gram gave you an eight-year vacation, and that’s over. It’s time to get back to real life and accept the consequences of your actions.
“But I’ll tell you this: no matter how much you hate the fact that you’re part of this family, you can either make it work for you or against you. That’s something you never understood.”
“It’s always against me if I can’t be with the man I love, Carmine.”
“That’s another thing,” he says and shoves his hands into his pockets. “You didn’t trust me enough to let me know that you were okay, that you were hiding, but you’ve been shacking up with Archer all this time?”
I shake my head. “You obviously haven’t been watching me for long. Archer found me about a month ago.”
“And you just fell right back into bed with him.”
I feel the blood drain out of my face and then surge back into my veins with fury.
“Let me be clear, Carmine. We didn’t split up because we fell out of love. We split because my father beat the shit out of me and threatened to kill him if I didn’t break it off.”
Carmine’s eyes turn sober.
“He hurt you?”
I turn and lift my shirt and hear Carmine’s quick gasp from behind me.
“He tortured me for days, then showed me a live feed of Archer and his sister, with one of his goons ready to fucking kill them both. I wasn’t given a choice. Because I don’t have the right to choose, remember?”
“You never told me that he did that to you. You know that goes against what we believe in.”
“And you know that he didn’t give a shit about me. He just wanted to control me. In any way he could. So, yeah, when Grandma gave me the option to run away, I grabbed onto it with both hands, and I never looked back. No matter how much I missed you and Shane and Rocco. Because any family who would do this to me is one I want no part of.”
“Well, you’re back now,” he says, and then his shoulders sag in defeat. “Fuck, Elena. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that piece of shit. I’m sorry that he ever laid hands on you. I would have been there—”
“You were hardly more than a kid yourself, with no clout in the family yet, Carmine. There was nothing you could have done.”
I feel the tears threatening.
“I know you’re angry and hurt, but I did miss you. All three of you. And I wondered about you often. When I came home for Grandma’s funeral, I wanted nothing more than to hug you. I walked right past you. I knew I shouldn’t have gone at all, but I loved her so much. I had to thank her for saving my life.”
He turns to look out the window.
“A part of me died when you left,” he admits, his voice quiet again. “I think the good parts of me died.”
“That’s not true.” He turns back to me with tormented eyes, and I can’t hold back any longer. I walk to him and wrap my arms around him, holding on tight. Slowly, he returns the hug, and we stay that way for several long moments. “You’re a good man, Carmine.”