Imagine With Me (With Me in Seattle 15)

I clench my jaw and glare at my sister.

“What did you say?”

“I told her I wasn’t going to marry her.”

“For fuck’s sake, Shawn. Of course, she left.”

“It’s an inside joke.” I stand and pace the living room. “When we first started sleeping together, as co-workers, we agreed that it was just a physical relationship for us to enjoy while we worked together. I said that then. And when I saw her a couple weeks ago, I said it again.”

“Because you’re a moron.”

“I will throw you out of here on your little butt, Mary Margaret.”

“Right. I’m terrified. Shawn, if you don’t want anything with Lexi, why are you all messed up over your last encounter with her? I don’t get it.”

“I didn’t say I don’t want anything with her,” I reply in frustration.

“You’re in love with her.”

I stop pacing and stare at Maggie. I feel the blood leave my face.

“That’s what it is. You’re worked up because you’re in love with her, and you screwed it up, and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.”

“I’m not in love with her.”

“No? If that was the case, you wouldn’t give a monkey’s ass what her reaction was that morning. You’d just go on with your lonely little life.”

“I’m not lonely.”

“But you are in love with her, Shawn. And that’s why you’re upset. And defensive. And, honestly, you look like crap.”

“Thanks.”

“You need to go to her and talk to her. You have to communicate with her that you want more than a physical relationship. And you need to ask her what she wants. I have a feeling she’s in love with you, too. And when you said you weren’t marrying her, it hurt her feelings, and she went home. Which, if it were me, I’d do the same damn thing.”

“So, what? I just show up on her doorstep and say, ‘Hey there, sorry to bother you, but I’ve changed my mind and I am in love with you, so…let’s have sex?’”

Maggie stands, walks to me, and slaps me upside the head.

“Hey!”

“You’re so dumb. Why she loves you, I have no freaking idea. You show up and be honest with her. You don’t want to be with her just because the sex is amazing. So, no, I wouldn’t lead with that.”

“I was just kidding.”

“I can’t believe we come from the same gene pool.”

“Hey, I’m not that bad.”

“Well, you’ve managed to make an amazing woman like Lexi fall in love with you, so you can’t be all bad. In all seriousness, Shawn, you really do need to have a frank conversation with her. Open up to her and let yourself be vulnerable. Which, I know the men in this family have a hard time with. Although, Da’s becoming more sentimental in his older age.”

“I can be vulnerable. I’m an artist.”

She smirks. “Go get your girl. Because I love her, too. And I miss her. We all do. She fits so well with us, Shawn.”

“I know. I just hope I’m not too late.”

“If it’s meant to be, you’re not too late. I have faith in you.”

“You just said I’m a moron.”

“Well, you can be. But you’re also pretty great, and Lexi sees that. Just go talk to her.”

“Can you reserve me a flight while I pack?”

“Of course. I’m putting you in first class because you need drinks.”

“No drinks,” I disagree. “But first class is good. I’ll be in the front of the plane and can get off quickly.”* * *The Minneapolis airport is a shitshow. It’s enormous, difficult to navigate, and when I’m already impatient to get to my girl, it’s not good.

But, roughly nine hours after Maggie gave me the come-to-Jesus conversation, I’m in a rental car headed to Lexi’s building, having saved her address when I mailed her box. It’s after rush hour, so traffic is light.

I park in a visitor space and take the elevator up to her floor.

I knock on the door several times, but there’s no answer. So, I take out my phone and shoot Lexi a text.

Me: Hey, I’m at your front door. Please answer.

The text is delivered, but she doesn’t reply. I try again.

Me: Please come to the door, Lex. I need to talk to you.

Nothing.

I knock again, in case her phone isn’t near her. And as I’m waiting, the door across the hall from Lexi opens, and a little woman with white hair peeks out.

“Can I help you?” she asks.

“I know it’s late, and I’m sorry if I was loud and bothered you. I’m just trying to see Lexi.”

“Oh, well, she and her mother are out of town.”

I feel all the hope I’ve been carrying around with me all day drain from my body.

“They went to Florida to run in a race. I sure am proud of Lexi, she’s been doing so well with her running.”

“She’s amazing,” I murmur with a nod. “And now I remember her mentioning that she was going to Disney World this month. I just didn’t realize it was this weekend.”