Leave Me Breathless

Pain sears my head, and I reach up to push the ball of my hand into my temple.

How did this happen?

Hannah quickly crouches and collects the blanket, throwing it around herself. She says nothing and makes a mad dash for the door, slamming it behind her, leaving me a little lost and confused by the fire. My mind takes too long to catch up. My muscles take too long to engage. What just happened?

‘Hannah.’ I run after her, nearly taking the door off its hinges when I haul it open. ‘Hannah!’ I dart down the steps and across the lawn, wondering how the fuck she got so far away in the few seconds I was a zombie. She’s made it to the lane already, the blanket billowing behind her. Rain is still hammering down, the storm still raging. ‘Hannah, for fuck’s sake!’ I yell over the wind and rain. ‘Hannah, will you stop running?’ I’m sure she actually speeds up. ‘Jesus Christ,’ I pant, blowing out of my fucking arse as I build up to a sprint. I gain on her quickly, and the moment she’s in reach I grab her arm, desperation getting the better of me. ‘Hannah, please.’

She jolts to a stop, heaving from her exertion. ‘Let go of me, Ryan.’

Something in the tone of her voice refuses to let me ignore her, so I release her, giving her space. ‘Where are you going?’

‘Home.’

‘No, you’re not. It’s dark, it’s raining. Come back inside.’ I motion back to the cabin. ‘You’re all wet again.’ I look down the drenched blanket to her bare feet. This is ridiculous. ‘God damn it, Hannah, I should just pick you up and carry you inside.’

Her perfect jawline pulses. She’s angry. Frustrated. Good. Me fucking too.

‘Why did you do that?’ she asks, tugging the throw tighter, like it’s a shield between us. Right now, it is, which makes me hate the fucking thing. ‘You walked in my shop tonight, kissed me like you did, and then walked away. Do you know how much courage it took me to come here? To acknowledge that you’ve woken up my heart? To admit to myself that I’m madly attracted to you, and actually, yes, I really like you.’ She throws her hand out toward my cabin while I stand like a lifeless fool before her. ‘And then that kiss. I offered myself to you, Ryan. Laid myself bare, and you couldn’t even look at me.’

‘Hannah, it wasn’t that—’

‘I’m so stupid,’ she rants on, her wet cheeks shining red with her growing anger. Is it bad of me to think how much more attracted to her I am when she’s got fire in her? ‘I should never have come.’ Pivoting fast, she marches away. ‘Don’t ever try to kiss me again.’

Whoa. I recoil, everything she’s shouted at me sinking in. I’ve woken up her heart? And now she’s running away. Again. ‘Fuck’s sake,’ I mumble, jogging after her, rounding her huddled form and blocking her. ‘Will you shut the hell up for a second?’

It’s Hannah’s turn to recoil, and God love her cuteness, her little nostrils flare dangerously at me. ‘No, I won’t shut—’

I lunge forward and attack her mouth before she can attack me with her acid tongue again, this time my claiming of her anything but gentle and careful. I don’t have time to tread carefully. Or the patience, for that matter. And I can’t risk her trying to run again. I’m knackered.

My fingers weave through her hair, getting caught in the tangled wet tresses as I kiss her hard and with purpose. If this kiss doesn’t say it all, then I’ll happily tell her. But the sound of her whimper and the equal force of her tongue dueling with mine tells me she understands. She gets it. She’s letting me in, and as I languidly roll my tongue through her mouth and feel her hands move to my hair, I get the first taste of her secrets. She’s completely relaxed in my arms, and I just know she’s not used to surrendering to a man like this. Willingly. Uninhibitedly. Comfortably.

I heave as I break away, pushing my forehead to hers. ‘Clear enough?’ I ask as she blinks herself back to life. I wait until I have her full attention before I go on. ‘I wasn’t torn about taking you to bed, Hannah. I was wondering how I would meet your expectations.’ And that wonder has only increased with her admission. She’s wary. Of me? Or of men in general? I’m dealing with something fragile. She’s revealed a piece of herself now. A weakness. It’s suddenly so obvious that everything she is, all her wonderful, attractive traits, is driven by something ugly. Fear. Or her fierce determination not to let that fear hold her back. My instinct to protect is as powerful as my ability to sense fear. I’ve seen it in too many eyes just before I’ve pulled the trigger. And now I see it in Hannah.