Pulling away abruptly, Ryan slides one of his hands up my back to my nape and grips hard. Possessively. ‘This never ends, Hannah,’ he whispers, driving forward with purpose.
Does that say everything I need to hear? Or everything I don’t need to hear? ‘Everything ends,’ I counter softly, my mouth working before my brain. His response to that is another hard pound, and I whimper, trying to fall forward onto him for support. He doesn’t let me, tightening his grip of my neck to keep me where he wants me.
‘This,’ he grates, gliding out slowly, ensuring I feel the throb of blood in his veins, ‘never’ – he pauses, his lovely face twisting as he drives forward with power – ‘ends.’ He chokes, and I scream, our bodies crashing together. I get no more breathing space, no time between each drive to control my pleasure. Now Ryan owns it, I’m his to control, and I let go, surrendering to the formidable power. Surrendering to him.
Though commanding, his strikes are controlled; he knows exactly what he’s doing, and with each pound into me, I lose myself more and more until I’m certain I’ve passed into another world – a world where only he and I exist.
‘Let me kiss you,’ I gasp, desperate to touch him everywhere possible, hauling myself forward.
‘Let me see you,’ he counters, forcing me back and hitting me with an unforgivingly mind-bending grind. As we maintain our deep connection, flowing in and out of each other, releasing moan after moan, our lovemaking precise and exact, I comprehend that Ryan doesn’t want to actually see me. He’s telling me something. I slowly move in and kiss him, and this time he doesn’t stop me. With our mouths working each other’s slowly, our tongues twisting carefully, our hands in each other’s hair, we climb together to the point we’re both shaking violently, the water rippling and swishing around us.
The pressure becomes unbearable, the sizzling heat in my blood out of control. ‘Ryan,’ I wheeze, and he nods, telling me he’s with me. Our kiss deepens. Our bodies tighten. Ryan loses all control first, his fingers in my damp hair constricting, his open mouth moving to my cheek and resting there as he fights for breath, his body jerking madly. All these effects in him shove me over the edge, and I lock up against him, trying to stem the intensity. My mind is spinning, the pleasure dizzying, my orgasm raging on and on and on. My lungs feel like they’ve been squeezed dry, my body drained. It’s like a chemical reaction inside me, two volatile elements being mixed together and reacting fiercely to each other.
I sag against Ryan’s wet chest, replete and dazed, clinging to him with what little strength I have left. My eyes close, and I feel him move through the water slowly, his breathing still laboured, and when he reaches the shore, he drops to his knees and lays me on my back, coming down on top of me. He gently kisses my cheek. His arms cage my head. His face falls into my neck.
Ryan wants me. Just the way I am.
He’s filling the empty spaces inside me. And I can’t help letting him. I can’t help admiring him more every day. This is the man I was always supposed to be with.
And now I fear I’ve found him too late.Chapter 16RYAN
Raspberries.
It’s new on my list of favourite smells. The woods, the water, the fresh air. And now raspberries, too. She smells so good. Feels so good. I’m sure she looks good, too, but I’ll be damned if I can raise my depleted body to look at her. So I concentrate on feeling and smelling, my skin on her skin, breathing her into me like she’s life.
Her presence has woken something in me that I never knew was sleeping. It’s something exhilarating yet fear provoking. Because despite seeing the merciless wildness in her eyes, I can now see something else, too.
A lingering emptiness she’s trying to mask.
She’s hiding something from me. Keeping me close but distant. But will I push Hannah away if I demand answers? Can I risk that? This exquisite, sweet woman in my arms, no matter how peaceful she is in this moment, is carrying too much pain. I hope she finds it in herself to share her secrets with me. And I hope she lets me ease that pain. Maybe I already am.
I feel Hannah move beneath me, and I shift to give her space, grudgingly giving up my place in her neck to peek down at her. The moment our skin separates, I feel the cold.
‘We should get back to the cabin.’ I want her in my bed and cuddled into my side. I want her warm and safe.
‘Are you going to throw me out in the morning?’ she asks as I help her up, her face a picture of innocence.