Gentleman Sinner

And I see him.

He looks shell-shocked, whitewashed, a shadow of a man as he stands across the room in silence looking on. My mouth dries, taking away any chance I have of speaking, of calling to him, so I force my hand up, stretching for him, silently begging for him to come to me. He doesn’t.

Instead, he starts backing away, his head shaking, his eyes locked on mine. ‘I did that,’ he mumbles mindlessly, his shoulder catching the doorframe and jolting him. But he keeps moving away.

‘Theo,’ I call, seeing his intention too clearly.

‘I hurt you.’ His eyes widen, like realization keeps dawning, his shocked mind opening up to the horror. ‘I hurt my love.’ His gaze drops, and I wrestle with Callum to free me, but his grip is too firm, too secure.

‘Let go of me!’ I scream, seeing Judy move in and stand in front of me, blocking my path to her son. She’s facing me, her hands joining Callum’s and holding me in place. ‘Stop!’ I cry, my eyes bursting with desperate tears. ‘Please, let me go to him.’ The tears roll and through the blur of my vision, I see Theo turn, his back getting farther and farther away. ‘Please,’ I sob, frantically fighting my way out of their holds.

‘Izzy, no!’

I break free and rush forward, a little disoriented. ‘Theo, wait.’ He stalks on, his pace increasing as he makes his way through his house. ‘Theo!’ I chase after him, my weak, hurting body slowing me, and I yell, willing my limbs to cooperate.

When I make it back to the club, the space is empty and quiet, everyone gone, and I spot Theo, still shirtless, his torso smeared in blood and sweat. I come to a gradual stop when I register where he’s heading. The cage.

‘No.’ I look past the bars, seeing Trystan being helped out of the enclosure by two of Theo’s men. The fact that he’s conscious – alive, even – doesn’t relieve my worry. ‘Theo,’ I yell, and he stops, but he doesn’t turn back. He just stands motionless for a few moments, rolling his shoulders, his head dropped. Then it slowly lifts, and I know he’s found Trystan. He approaches, takes him from the two men, and virtually throws him back into the cage. He doesn’t shut the door behind him this time. Looking up at me, his eyes rooted to my swollen eye, I know what he’s thinking. He blames Trystan for it. He blames himself, but he also blames Trystan. Our eyes meet. I shake my head, silently begging him not to do it. Though, deep down, I know I am begging in vain.

Theo moves his eyes from mine to his feet, where his prey is sprawled, staring up at him, frightened. And in a lightning-fast move, Theo roars and throws his fist down into Trystan’s throat with so much power, his neck visibly crushes, obliterating his windpipe and his ability to breathe.

Instant death.

My body bends at the waist, and I throw up at my feet, choking and heaving uncontrollably. ‘Izzy.’ Arms grab me, Judy pulling me up and into her arms, holding me upright on my shaky legs.

I look over her shoulder and catch Theo watching me. He’s still. In a trance.

Then he walks calmly out of the cage, and I know exactly what will happen next. He’s leaving. He’s finished Trystan off to make sure he can’t hurt me again. To make sure that when Theo’s gone, I’m in no danger.

He strides out of the club, and his back disappears as I slowly crumple in Judy’s arms. I’ve failed. I haven’t fixed him. I’ve ruined him beyond repair, and the reality is all too painful.

Because he’s gone.

And I know I will never see him again.Chapter 26

The hours turn into days. The days turn into weeks. Dark and gloomy weeks. Empty weeks. Because Theo’s gone. He left me hurt and broken, though I know my desolation won’t touch the level of misery he will be feeling.

Wherever he may be.

Not a minute passes when I don’t think of him. When I don’t wonder where he is. I call his phone every day, hoping today might be the day it rings. Four weeks later and it still hasn’t. Judy and Callum spent the first week of his absence searching everywhere they could think of. His bank accounts and cards showed nothing. Still don’t. Andy did what he could, looked in all the obvious and nonobvious places, and turned up nothing. No missing persons report could be filed. Theo left of his own accord. And Andy quite rightly pointed out that if someone doesn’t want to be found, then they won’t be. If anyone can relate to that, then I can. Each day I’ve become less hopeful. Now I’m barely surviving.

He killed a man. Battered him to death in that cage. Andy sat me down and asked me if there is anyone who would miss Trystan. How would I know? I haven’t seen him for ten years. If there was anyone in his life now, like me back then, I’m guessing they wouldn’t miss the malevolent arsehole. I don’t know what they did with his body. Or if it will ever be discovered. Not that it matters. You can’t lock a man up for murder if he can’t be found.