I pulled back the sleeve of my sweater and looked at the time. “It’s almost seven? Jesus.” I thought the guys had left early, but in fact, they’d stayed two hours later.
“Time flies when you’re…building a rocket.”
I chuckled. “It’s done. We just wanted to go over the final design before handing it off to a different department. I have to get started on that rover, but I just… It’s hard for me to let it go. I keep checking to see if I did something wrong, but I won’t really know until we do a trial.”
“I’m sure it’s perfect, Derek.”
I closed my device because it was time to go home, even if I had so much to do.
She watched me, her smile fading and her eyes softening.
I met her gaze and stared at her, seeing her care about me so visibly. It reminded me of the way both of my parents looked at me, like I was the most important thing in the world to them. It was subtle and unnoticeable to most people, but I noticed it…because I knew these people so well. “Thank you for giving me another chance.” I was still ashamed of the way I’d acted before, when I became so resentful that I exploded into a giant asshole. Finding common ground and finally being together made me happier than I’d ever been my entire life. And it almost didn’t happen.
Her eyes softened further. “I’d give you a million chances, Derek. You’re worth it.”
Sometimes I wasn’t so sure.
I grabbed my things and stuffed them into my bag. “You probably have to get home because it’s late.” Now, I tried to get home at a reasonable time so she could come over for an hour or so, and we could have our alone time, the time of day I looked forward to the most. After she left, sometimes I drove back to the office to finish whatever I was working on without telling her, just so she wouldn’t think I was rearranging my entire schedule to be with her…even though I was.
She shrugged. “I have time for a quickie.”
That quickie could happen here, but I liked stripping her clothes away, seeing her naked body on my comfortable sheets. I didn’t want any interruptions. The couch in my office was great once in a while, but most of the time, I wanted to make love. There was never any fucking, even if was aggressive and fast. I’d done a lot of fucking the last ten years, and this definitely wasn’t fucking. “Good.”She was on top of me, rocking her hips and arching her back as she began dancing on my dick. My hands held on to her petite frame, and we moved together until we ignited, both of us writhing in mutual pleasure, the view of the city outside my window behind her sexy figure.
She rolled off me then lay beside me, her eyes closing and her body relaxing, like she wanted to sleep there and never leave.
Sometimes it bothered me, that we could never have that. We couldn’t do sleepovers like other couples, wake up and go to breakfast the next morning. We couldn’t do a long weekend at my penthouse, with no obligation to anything.
At least for another six years.
I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, so if I had to wait six years for us to have what we really wanted, that didn’t seem so bad. I could avoid the relationship with Lizzie altogether. She could go off to college and be out of the house, and I’d see her on occasion for holidays and special events.
But then I felt terrible for thinking that way.
That wasn’t what Emerson wanted from me.
She wanted me to have a relationship with her daughter, for us to be a family, the way my mother had loved me like her own, loved me as much as Dex and Daisy.
It was a daunting task, but I’d promised I would try. So I had to get into that mind-set.
I just struggled to have a relationship with anyone, even Emerson initially, and now I had to force a relationship with a kid who was practically an alien to me. My dad seemed confident I could do it, but I wasn’t so sure.
She was staring at me.
I hadn’t noticed.
“What are you thinking about?”
I turned my head so I could look at her.
“Your mood dropped… I can feel it.” Her hand moved over my hard stomach, feeling me, her hair messed up from before when my hands were up in it.
I lied. “My best friend is proposing to his girlfriend in a couple days.”
“Really?” she asked with a smile. “That’s exciting.”
“Yeah, she’s my friend too. It’s been a long time coming, honestly. Ryan just needed to save for the ring, and living in Manhattan, it’s impossible to save for anything.”