“Yeah, I’ve noticed that. They are really cute together.”
“They are,” she said with a smile. “I’m really lucky to have such a beautiful family, and you’re so lucky that you have your daughter.”
It meant a lot to me that she viewed my daughter as a benefit rather than a mistake because Lizzie was far from a mistake. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, she just came at the worst time. My parents were really disappointed in me when I told them I was pregnant, and they told me how much it would ruin my life. Maybe my life would have been easier if I didn’t have her, but I wouldn’t change what happened. I still went to college, still got a great job. I still did everything I would have done, regardless… It was just harder to complete.”
She nodded in understanding. “I believe everything happens for a reason, that it’s meant to happen. So, I never look back on life with regret. Deacon was really unhappy in his previous marriage because she was…not a good person, to be honest. But he doesn’t regret it because it gave him Derek. That’s just how we have to look at life.”
“I have to say, I’m really relieved that you and Deacon don’t have a problem with Lizzie.”
“Why would we?” she asked bluntly.
“I don’t know…I don’t think a lot of parents would be too happy about their son dating a woman with a daughter who’s almost a teenager because I was reckless and broke my curfew.”
She shook her head. “A child is a blessing, no matter when they arrive. And Derek is in his thirties now. He’s perfectly capable of making decisions about his life on his own. Even if I did have a problem with Lizzie, it wouldn’t matter because my grown son is capable of handling whatever he chooses to handle. I think parents sometimes forget that their job is done once their children are adults—and you need to accept all their decisions.”
I’d have to remember that myself when Lizzie moved out.
“I know Derek is a bit hesitant about meeting your daughter, but I have no doubt that he would be a great stepfather…once he gets over his reservations. He’s a brilliant man, but he has a lot of insecurities about himself…because he’s had his heart broken a few times. But I think he’ll get over that now that he has you.”
“He told me about his birth mom. That she left.”
Cleo didn’t have a reaction, like just thinking about it made her feel empty inside. “I’m not the kind of person who says bad things about other people, unless it’s to their face, but…she wasn’t a good person. She wasn’t a good mother. She used Derek as leverage to get what she wanted out of Deacon, and once she found another rich man to fall under her spell, she took off…and never came back. There were a few phone calls in the beginning, but then she had a couple more kids and pretty much just forgot about him. No phone calls on his birthday, no presents for Christmas.”
Fuck, I was gonna cry.
“Derek did pretty well with it until she passed away. It just stirred up all those old feelings, and I think now that she’s gone, he can never really confront her about anything. He’s always struggled with it, and whenever Derek asked about her as a child, we always made up stories to tell him. But when he stopped asking…we knew he’d figured it out. And that was just so hard for Deacon and me to watch, to witness this perfect little boy have to deal with that kind of abandonment. I know he and I are close, that he knows I love him as if I carried him for nine months, but I can never fix that.”
I inhaled a deep breath, feeling like shit, understanding his sudden outbursts and coldness a little more. “He says he doesn’t want to have kids.”
“A lot of men say that until they meet the right woman.”
“But it makes me wonder if he’s afraid he’ll be a terrible parent the way she was, and that that’s what his issue is.”
She shrugged. “He’s the only one who knows that answer. But I know he’s never been able to let anyone in again since Tabitha.”
“Who’s Tabitha?”
She turned quiet, like she knew she’d said too much. “I assumed he’d already told you…”
“He’s mentioned he was in a relationship ten years ago, but every time I ask him about it, he says he doesn’t want to talk about it.”
She gave a slight nod. “He’ll come around, eventually.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t press her for more information because Derek deserved to be the one to tell me—whenever he was ready to do so.
“Deacon and I were really excited to hear about the two of you. There’s been no one in a really long time, and you make him really happy. I think you can put your faith in that. I know you’re scared to expose your daughter to him, get your own heart broken, but Derek will get there. You just have to be patient.”