“This is why he got kicked out of school?” I ask, watching the red liquid glug into the glass. “For having the wrong side hustle?”
“He was kicked out for sexual misconduct,” Harper says, very officially. “At least that’s what I heard. You agree not to do it when you sign the papers accepting the Madison Scholarship.”
I shake the last few drops of wine off the bottle, then place it carefully in the recycling bin next to the trash.
“I thought that meant actual misconduct, though,” I say, leaning against the counter, glass held in front of me. “Like sexual assault or something? I never want to see that again, but it looked consensual.”
“Well, we also agreed to comport ourselves with the highest degree of moral and ethical standing, and also to represent the Scholars program well, and I imagine that uploading your dick onto RedTube wasn’t what the founders had in mind,” she says.
“Though you can bet your ass they’d have loved internet porn,” Victoria offers.
“Everyone loves internet porn,” Harper says.
“Are we even sure that he uploaded it himself?” I ask, still trying to wrap my brain around this. “What if it was someone else trying to get him kicked out of school?”
I did not enjoy the video. I’m already dreading having to open my laptop again, because I know the video is still pulled up.
But it’s two adults having consensual sex, for Pete’s sake. It’s not illegal or anything.
“Oh, he did it himself,” Harper says. “They’ve been investigating for months. One of the other TAs for Roman History was on the ethics committee that got the job, and I finally got her to talk about it the other night. It’s him. He did it. Apparently they were considering giving him a year-long suspension and just pulling the scholarship until he uploaded a video that’s got a VSU sweatshirt visible.”
There’s a long, companionable silence over the line. I can just imagine the two of them, on our couch, feet up on the coffee table. I stare at the wall in my parents’ kitchen and drink the wine I poured and try to remember anything besides vague feelings and blurry images from the past week.
It has been a week.
“Anyway, don’t make porn and if you do, don’t put your face in it and if you do, don’t put it on the internet,” Harper says.
“And if you do, don’t put a VSU sweatshirt in it,” Victoria adds. “The real crime is making the school look bad.”
“The real crime was a total lack of screen presence,” Harper objects.
“There were a lot of crimes,” I say. “Including you two for showing this to me, because now I’ve seen Nathaniel’s dick and I didn’t want to see his dick. Not even a little. I barely even realized that he had one.”
“Sorry,” says Harper.
“I’m not,” says Victoria. “You’re still coming back tomorrow night, right?”
“As long as everything goes according to plan, yeah,” I say. “Barring further emergencies.”
“Good. I miss your face.”
“I miss your butt,” says Harper, and I snort.
“I miss you guys, too,” I say. “I’ll be back. Tell Margaret I said hi. She with some new conquest?”
“Something like that,” Victoria says. “She called it a date but I watched her put a condom in each of her pockets and like five in her purse.”
I wonder, briefly, whether it’s my virginal status, or whether having a condom in each pocket really doesn’t quite make sense. How hard is it to reach across your body, even in the throes of passion?
“Attagirl,” I say. “See you dorks tomorrow.”Chapter Twenty-OneFrom: [email protected]
Subject: Absence due to family emergencyProfessor Loveless,I hope this email finds you well. Unfortunately, I’ve had a family emergency come up, and I will be unable to attend class on Monday, September 20, and I may also be absent on Wednesday, September 22.I would be happy to provide doctors’ notes for my absence, and to discuss making up any missed classwork when I return.Thank you for your understanding.Best,
Thalia Lopez* * *From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Absence due to family emergencyDear Thalia,Thank you for letting me know. We can discuss your coursework when you return to campus, and your absences will be excused.Best wishes to you and your family.Sincerely,
Caleb Loveless* * *From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: re: Absence due to family emergencyProfessor Loveless,Apologies, but I’ll also be absent on Friday, September 24. I expect to return to school the following week, however.Best,
Thalia Lopez* * *From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: re: re: Absence due to family emergencyThalia,Take all the time you need. How’s your mom doing? How’s the rest of your family?Best,
Caleb* * *From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: re: re: re: Absence due to family emergencyShe’s much, much better, and expected to make a full recovery. We still haven’t been able to take her home, but it should only be a few more days. There’s nothing I can really do here, so I’m coming back to campus.