Office Grump: An Enemies to Lovers Romance

“Because. Miss Bristol hasn’t kept a single job for six months, for one. She has no experience in a top-level EA position for a company of this size, much less dealing with horrible bosses. You’re downright draconian, especially to your assistants...”

She looks down at her hands and fidgets. This is the part where I fight back a smile, knowing what’s coming.

“Go on,” I urge, waving my fingertips.

“Do I have to spell it out for you, Mag? Again? After we have the same conversation every two to six months when another one bites the dust?” She rolls her eyes. “You’re demanding, condescending, and expect sixteen-hour workdays. If your emails aren’t prioritized perfectly, you freak out. You send unreasonable requests at all hours of the night, and even if you do provide very generous compensation, I’m not sure any salary in the world is fit for the shitpile of torture you unload on their shoulders.”

Do I hear angels singing? I should’ve earned my wings and a halo by now. Always wanted one of those.

Ruby pauses her grand speech and sighs. “Look, if she can’t last six months at this purry...purry-purrniture place, or whatever the hell it’s called, how long do you think she’ll make it as your EA? What if she snaps right here in the office like she did at the park? What if she flips out on a client?”

I shrug. “So we’ll strip the K-cup machines from the break rooms and ban cinnamon in this office.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she groans. “I’ll be hiring someone else in two weeks anyway. You know I can do it. I already had several interviews lined up. Grow some patience. Wait until we find someone who can actually handle the job.”

“Why waste applicants’ time when we’ve found our girl?”

Ruby’s face drains pale. “She spit on you. For all we know, she’ll laugh in our faces before she’s even invited for an interview. What makes you think she wants to work here?”

“She’ll do it for the pay,” I say, drumming my fingers on my desk. “Oh, and the little hint she slipped about losing her position with the illustrious pet company.”

“Magnus Heron, I’ve known you for almost twenty years. If you’ve ever listened to me a day in your life, do it now. You’re making a bad move. This conversation started out dumb and just kept getting dumber. Do not do this. Just don’t. Okay?”

I lean forward and pick a pen up from my desk. I click the ballpoint in and out several times and sigh. Pretending to consider her request.

Maybe I really should.

Ruby is one of the few people I can count on to be straight with me. She wouldn’t have told me how stupid this is just for sport.

“Why are you so against it? This is hardly the most scandalous idea I’ve ever proposed.”

She purses her lips tighter and looks annoyed.

“I can see the dilemma on your face and it has nothing to do with hiring her,” she says softly, shaking her head. “Look, I’m not going to judge you for what happens outside this office. Hunt the woman down. Take her out. Take her to bed. Do whatever it is you want to do. But for God’s sake, don’t put her on payroll.”

My gut tightens and my fingers pinch the pen.

“Again, I’m not my—”

“Right. You’re not him. But you don’t need the temptation. If something happens, I know better than anyone that you’d never forgive yourself. This is nothing but playing with fire.”

I snort. “How did you keep a straight face while saying that?”

“I’m the one who’ll be interviewing for a new assistant in two weeks, remember?”

“You’re right. This is a horrible idea. Here’s a better one—run a new ad for a Human Resources Director, and you can be my new executive assistant.”

“No. No way in hell I’d ever be your EA.” She shakes her head furiously. “If you paid me three times my current salary, I wouldn’t do it. Not for all the money in the world.”

“Come on, Ruby. I need someone I can count on. We haven’t found the right person. You don’t like the talent I scouted. You’ve worked here for eighteen years. Take one for the team.”

She glares at me. “You didn’t find any talent. You found a bad-tempered Siren in the park who probably has a nice ass.”

“Hire her and you’ll find out you’re wrong. If she doesn’t make it a month, I’ll give you a bonus for having to re-interview candidates.”

Ruby flashes a fake, acrid smile.

“How generous.” She pauses, and the faux smile disappears. “I’ll offer her the job, assuming she holds it together during the interview, but I can’t make her take it. I probably wouldn’t want to work for someone I spit on either. Most people wouldn’t.”

“If it seems like she’s not going to take it, call me. I’ll let her know I’m doing her a favor by hiring her after that scene. Ask Hugo, he thinks I should’ve called the cops.”