“You going to bed too?” I ask Reese.
“Yes,” she says, covering her yawn with her hand. “It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll grab you a water and be right up,” I tell her.
“You don’t have to. I just didn’t want to be rude and go to sleep without saying goodnight.” She steps forward and wraps her arms around my waist, giving me a hug, one I don’t hesitate to return. She pulls back and turns to walk away. I watch her as long as I can, just like earlier.
“He’s right,” Levi says, pointing his spoon at me. “You’re a shit actor.”
“Stop with the acting nonsense,” I say, exasperated.
He shrugs. “You’re only lying to yourself. Well, and her. You’re lying to her.”
“I’m not. You know us. You’ve seen us together. You and Nix have this romanticized concept that she and I are meant to be together. We’re not. She’s my best friend.”
He nods. Good, maybe he’s finally getting it through his thick skull. “I’ve never doubted that. None of us have. Anyone who sees the two of you together knows that you have a strong connection.”
“Then drop this acting and lying bullshit.”
Levi’s face grows serious, something you don’t see from him very often. “You’re one of my best friends. I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize what you missed out on.”
“How am I missing out?”
He shakes his head, clearly disappointed with my answer. “I need more chili.” He stands and walks back into the kitchen, dismissing me and our conversation. I follow after him, grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge. Dustin, Trey, and Hank all sit around the table with empty bowls in front of them.
“Thank you,” Hank says as I’m ready to walk away.
“For what?”
“For having a girl like Reese that knows her way around the kitchen.”
“Tessa helped.”
He nods. “Yeah, I should thank Nix too.”
“You guys can clean up since we bought and the girls cooked.”
“If we keep coming home to meals like this, doing a few dishes is a small concession,” Trey agrees.
I leave them to it. Taking the stairs two at a time, I push open my bedroom door to find Reese curled up in my bed. She’s already sound asleep if her even breathing is any indication. I place her bottle of water on the nightstand on her side of the bed, then do the same with mine. Stripping out of my clothes, I pull on some basketball shorts and climb into bed.
I lie still, listening to her soft breaths. I wish things were different. I wish I could love her like she deserves to be loved. I wish that I could call her mine, but there are no guarantees in life. Nothing to assure me that if I were to cross that line, that one, she would be receptive to it, and two that she would always be mine. We’re safer staying friends. I know that if we were to test those boundaries, there would be no going back. And if things ended, our relationship would be ruined. My lifelong best friend would no longer be there, and the thought of that causes my stomach to sour. That can’t happen. I never want to lose her, and this is the only way I know how to do that.Chapter 8ReeseTessa and I have been in our new apartment for a little over a month. It’s an all-new level of independence. Sure, living in the dorms I was independent, even staying over at the house with Cooper, but this, having my own place not ran by the college, it’s an all-new level.
“What are you doing today?” Tessa asks. She’s sitting on one end of our second-hand couch, while I’m on the other. It’s Saturday morning, and we’re both moving slowly today.
“I’ve got nothing. What about you?”
“Nixon’s picking me up and we’re going to see a movie. It’s such a dreary day there’s not much else to do. You should come with us.”
“Thank you, but no thanks. I’m just going to hang here. Maybe get caught up on laundry. Read a book or two.” I smile and shrug.
“Oh, did I tell you? I finished Pants on Fire by Lacey Black. So good.”
“That’s on my Kindle. Maybe I’ll read that one.”
“As much as I want you to meet Cricket and Rueben, I want you to come with us even more.”
“Go, enjoy the day with your man.”
“What’s Cooper getting into today?”
“He’s with Sasha; at least, I assume he is. She is his girlfriend.”
“She’s a bitch,” Tessa says, not holding any punches.
“She’s not my favorite person, but I get it. Coop and I are close; she’s intimidated by that. It’s nothing new. It’s always been like this. The girls get jealous of me for no reason.”
“She’s a mean girl.”
“That seems to be his type.”
“I guess.” She rolls her eyes. “Anyway, you should really come with us.”