I see Reese.
My hand pumps faster as I remember the taste of her skin, the softness, and the way she fell apart at my hands. My balls tighten. My back grows stiff, and with one last stroke, I’m exploding. “Reese,” I moan.
My legs are trembling as I try to stand. It takes me longer than usual to get my bearings and finish my shower. Even just the memory of her has rocked me to my core. Once I manage to wash off, I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I take my time drying off and getting dressed. I’m stalling, being a pussy, and she deserves better. Grabbing the two bottles of water and my room key, I open the door and head back down the hall.
The room is dark. I find my way to the bed, setting the waters on the nightstand and crawling in beside her. I’m lying on my back, hands behind my head, staring up at the shadows on the ceiling. I want to hold her. I’ve done it a million times in the past, but this time, it’s different. It’s not just the companionship of my best friend. No, it’s the gorgeous, sexy woman that she is. She’s so much more. I’m battling with myself when she makes the decision for me. She rolls over and moves until her head is resting on my chest. My arms wrap around her and hold her tight.
“Night, Coop.”
“Night, Reese.”
We lie here unmoving, and eventually, her breathing evens out. I place a kiss on the top of her head and close my eyes. It doesn’t take long for me to start to drift off to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day, one I hope greets both of us with no regrets.Chapter 16ReeseI’ve been lying awake, for I don’t know how long, listening to Cooper breathe. The sun has just started to rise as the low dim light filters in through the window. We crossed a line last night, and it was blissful, and… everything. Then it wasn’t. For the last few years, hell, even longer if I’m honest with myself, I’ve harbored feelings that are more than just friendly for my best friend. Last night, I thought he felt the same way. Sure, he was hard—he’s a man, I was naked, that’s going to happen. But he pushed me away.
He couldn’t hear it, but my heart shattered.
Tiny shards of hope blasted into a million pieces. I don’t blame him. I’m not even mad at him. Cooper is and will always be special to me. However, it’s time I realize that we will never be anything but friends. That’s our story. That’s how it ends. I have to find a way to get past that. I can’t let it affect our friendship. I refuse to let it. Not having him in my life is not an option. I need to tramp down the pain and cover the scars from last night. That’s exactly what I plan to do, but I need a minute. Maybe a few hours to decompress. To get my head on straight.
Cooper has a lot of changes coming up. Changes that will not only impact his life but mine. The Combine is in a couple of months, the draft, finals, graduation, and then he’s leaving. I know it’s what’s best for him. I know he’s going to be fucking fantastic, and I couldn’t be happier for him that he gets to live his dream.
I just… need a minute.
Carefully, I climb out of bed, trying not to wake him. With my back to the bed, I slip off his T-shirt and slide back into my bra and sweater. With my boots in hand, I grab my bag, which holds my car keys from the floor. Slowly I turn the knob and let myself out of his room. I feel like I’m doing my first ever walk of shame, and in a way, I am. Although, I’m not ashamed of what we did. I am, however, embarrassed that I offered him more, and he shut me down. That’s my scar to bear, and one I need to learn to mask quickly.
This is the coward’s way out, and I’m fully aware of that. I just need to go home, get a few more hours of sleep, shower, and then I’ll be fine. Things will go back to how they used to be, and I have to be okay with that. The alternative is losing Cooper in my life, and that just won’t do.
Thankfully, my car isn’t blocked. Tossing my bag into the back seat, I hustle to slide behind the wheel and back out of the drive. I keep my eyes on the road, refusing to glance back at the house. No, I can’t do that. I can’t keep hoping and wishing for something that will never be. When I make it to the Stop sign at the end of the street, a single tear rolls across my cheek. Quickly, I swipe it away and roll through the Stop sign. I just need to get home. I need to hold it together until I’m in the confines of my room.