“They sound great. Your parents.” Makes me less fearful to meet them next week.
“Yeah, they really are,” he says, taking a seat next to me on the couch. “Anyway, they went to the doctor for her first visit, and there was no baby. Tracy, his girlfriend, said she must have lost it. The doctor told her that’s not how it happens. Anyway, long story short, she lied. She wasn’t pregnant. She made it all up to keep Jacob from breaking up with her.”
“That’s terrible. How could anyone do that?”
“I don’t know. What I do know is that I never want to be in that position. That day, the way my brother mourned the loss of a child he had grown to love the idea of, the one that didn’t exist, I vowed to wait. I want to know that when I’m being told that I’m going to be a father, that it’s the real deal. I want to know that I love that woman without a shadow of a doubt, and creating a family with her will be an honor. So, yeah, that’s what made my decision for me.”
“And your brother?”
“He’s married. No kids yet. He didn’t have sex again until his wedding night. Hell…” He rakes his hands over his face. “Maybe it’s just me wanting to be like my big brother, but really it’s to avoid going through what he went through.”
“Hey.” I reach out and place my hand on his leg. “I respect your choices, Hunter. Thank you for explaining them to me when you didn’t have to.”
“I did have to. I’ve never felt like this for anyone. I’ve felt attraction, have been tempted, but I’ve never had my heart feel like it’s melting just by hearing a name or seeing you walk into a room. I’m in love with you, Reese.”
I can’t say it back. I’m not there. I care about him, but I’m not in love with him. I don’t know if my heart will ever love again. I don’t know if I’m capable of giving it to someone else. I’m not sure that I was able to gather all of the pieces when they shattered that night in Cooper’s room. What I do know is that Hunter is a great guy, even more than I ever imagined, and I enjoy spending time with him. He’s my boyfriend, and just with this conversation, I already feel closer to him. All we can do is take it one day at a time and see where it leads us. Tossing off the cover, I stand from the couch and hold out my hand. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.” The smile he gives me warms me all over. He really thought I would kick him to the curb for saving himself for his future wife? Hunter Applegate is a unicorn in a sexy man’s body.
Without question, he takes my hand. I turn off the lights and lead him down the hall to my bedroom. “I’m going to change,” I tell him as I grab some clothes to sleep in. “I have some things of Cooper’s still here, if you want to change into something else.” I cringe as I say it. It sounds bad, offering your boyfriend another man’s clothes to sleep in. It sounds bad, but Cooper and I are just friends. He knows that, and my heart remembers it. Painfully so.
“I can just strip down to my underwear, unless that would make you uncomfortable?”
“No. Cooper did that more often than not too. I’ll be right back.” I rush out of my room and to the bathroom, quickly slipping inside. I need to stop bringing Cooper up so often. I miss him like crazy, that has to be why I can’t shut up about him tonight. Quickly, I change and toss my dirty clothes into the hamper, and head back to my room. When I push open the door, Hunter is standing next to the bed in a pair of black boxer briefs that fit him like a second skin. I rake my eyes over his body for the first time. I skim over his boxers and then back again when my mind registers that he’s hard.
“Reese,” he groans. “This is going to be hard enough as it is. No pun intended. I need you to not look at me like that.”
“Like what?” I ask, licking my lips.
“That. You can’t do that. You can’t lick those soft as hell kissable lips while staring at my dick. This was a bad idea. I should just go home.” He turns to grab his clothes, and I rush toward him to stop him.
“No. We can do this, Hunter. I’m sorry. I know your vow and won’t test it. I promise.”
“Not possible,” he mutters under his breath.
“Let’s just go to bed.” I move to climb under the covers and scoot over, making room for him. He turns off the light and I feel the bed dip. He slides under the covers, and the only sound is our breathing. This takes me back to all the nights Coop and I slept in the same bed. He used to let me use him as my pillow. I miss him so much, but there is a man, a very good-looking, honorable, kind man sharing my bed. A man who’s not my best friend; he’s my boyfriend. I should be able to use him as my pillow.