“Hey, it’s me. I know I’m late. I’m on my way.” I toss my phone in the cup holder and point the truck to the outskirts of town. She said she wanted to talk to me, her tone said it was serious, but I already know what she was going to say. She’s in deep. We both are. Only difference is I’m too big of a coward to admit it. At least I was about four hours ago. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but then again, maybe it’s just her and the thought of her not being mine. I’m going to grovel and tell her how I feel. It’s time to face this like a man, treat her like she deserves to be treated. I was raised better, and my momma would kick my ass if she knew what I did tonight.
I make it to the B&B but don’t see her car. I call her again. No answer. Trudging inside, I ask if she checked in. I listen as the clerk tells me that she was here, but she left a few hours later. I give a curt nod and head back to my truck.
I try calling her again, and again, and again. I’d go to her place, but her parents don’t approve of me. I’m too “small town” for their liking. Hell, they live in the same damn small town, but I’m not good enough for their daughter. Part of me thinks that’s why I haven’t told her what she means to me, but that’s just a small part. If I’m being honest, there is always this worry in the back of my mind that she’s going to wake up and realize she’s had her fun with me, and this is all going to end. I can’t see her parents ever approving of me with my blue-collar job and my inked-up skin. Back then, I only had a few tattoos. If her mom could see me now, I can only imagine what she would think. I see the disapproval in their eyes the handful of times I’ve met them. She’s never given me any reason to think otherwise, but there’s the lingering doubt that has kept my walls in place.
Until this summer.
I call her again. This time, I leave another message. “Hey, it’s me. I’m sorry I was late. I’m here, but the B&B said you checked out. I’ll be up for a few hours. You can come over, or I’ll meet you. Just… call me.” Another round of guilt hits me. If I was honest to my friends about her, if they knew what she meant to me, I wouldn’t be here right now. I would be with her in my arms where she belongs. Instead, I kept her from them, and I know damn well they would be up my ass about standing her up. I’ve learned my lesson. I just need to find her. To tell her I’m sorry and I’ll shout it to the world.
I drive past her parents’ place, and sure enough, her little white Volkswagen sits out front. It takes herculean effort to not pull into her drive, but I hold strong and drive on past, headed home.
I call her again when I get into the house, but I know it’s no use. She’s pissed. As she should be. I’ll call her in the morning. I’m a dick. I hate that I won’t get to see her before she leaves, but I only have myself to blame. Somehow, I’m going to make this right. I can’t wait until winter break. It’s not something I want to do over the phone, but that’s the only option since my dumb ass might have fucked up the best thing to ever happen to me.
It’s time to man up and tell her how I feel.
It’s time I admit to her, and to myself, that I’m in love with her.Chapter 1DelaneyI’ve checked my list a million times to make sure I have everything. This is the first time I’ve traveled alone, and I’m both excited and nervous. I’m an adult, so you’d think something as simple as a plane ride from California to Tennessee wouldn’t be an issue. Well, you’d be wrong, at least when it comes to me.
“You all packed?” my mother asks from my doorway.
Yes, I still live with my parents, well, my mom. We lost my dad three years ago to a heart attack. It was hard for both of us, in different ways, and even though I could move out, I’m still here. I hate the thought of leaving her alone. Besides, she’s done so much for me. Been there for me when there was no one else.
“Yes.” I hold up my list that’s been checked off multiple times.
Mom chuckles. “You never used to be a list maker. I’m glad you’ve found a process that helps you.”