Ridge is already standing at the door, and when he presses the doorbell, I hold my breath. It’s not her. I know it’s not her. Ridge said that the family attorney contacted him in regard to the renovation. The estate has been vacant for almost five years.
The family simply up and left.
Bracing myself on the pillar of the front porch, I stand behind Ridge, Tyler, Mark, and Seth as we wait for someone to answer the door. It’s as if it happens in slow motion. The handle turns and the door pulls open. I want to close my eyes. I want to look away, but I can’t. I watch, breathless, as an older gentleman appears. My breath whooshes from my lungs, and my shoulders sag. Although it’s not with relief, it’s disappointment.
I wanted it to be her.
I can hear Ridge talking to him, and he invites us in. He’s been put in charge of the renovations, as we already know—appointed by the family. Following them inside, I take a look around. I’ve never been here. It was too risky with her parents and the staff. They hated me, so Delaney always ended up at my place, or at the lake, sleeping under the stars. And on the nights when it was too cold at the lake, we would go to the B&B. Just another place for us to be together. Delaney always thought it was romantic.
Never here.
My eyes take in my surroundings. The home is huge, but it’s not over the top with decorations. I always envisioned it as a castle, but it’s not. Maybe in size, but that’s it. The living room is a light beige with dark brown furnishings. It appears to be a solid oak trim. There are family photos plastered all around, as if the family still lived here. If not for the dusty furniture, I would think they did. I’m not really sure, structurally, what is needed, and I’m sure if I had been paying attention, I would know. I can’t seem to stop taking it all in. I can see her here, feet propped up on the couch, her blonde hair splayed out on the cushions. She only lived here for a couple of years. It was her grandparents’ home, and when they passed, her parents inherited it. I guess that’s why it was so easy for them to up and walk away.
I can’t believe I’m here. In her childhood home. What are the odds that out of all the contractors, they picked Beckett Construction? This job is unexpected, and the past is coming full circle into my present. At least the memories are—the ones I try to keep locked away. I remember her—her laugh, her smile, those never fade. But the times we shared, I try to lock that shit up tight. They surface a few times a year, but for the most part, I can move forward each day without the loss of her in my life threatening to take me under.
Most days.
“So, as you see, the home needs some updating in order to be placed on the market,” the attorney says. “That is the owners intentions as of now.”
“Definitely, so we’re to focus on new flooring for the entire home, fresh paint throughout, updating all five bathrooms, and a complete demo of the kitchen?” Ridge confirms.
“Yes. Should you have any questions, here’s my card. I know you’ll need input on colors, and styles and I’ll be coordinating with the family.”
“Are they here?” I ask, my voice gruff. “The family?”
Ridge nods. “Yes, will anyone be staying here while we’re working?”
“Yes, the owner is here, and they will be the point person for this project. She will be the one to direct questions or concerns to. You can also contact me if the family is unavailable. The family will be staying here in the home while you’re renovating.”
“Sounds great. Thank you.” Ridge thrusts his hand out for a shake, and just like that, we get to work.
Stepping outside into the frigid January air, I take in a deep breath. The cool crisp air burns my lungs. I should feel relieved and I do, but I also feel disappointment seep into my bones. I wanted to walk into this house and see her. What I wouldn’t give to see her again. My heart skips a beat at the thought of her being here, but I can’t be that lucky. I’m sure it’s her mother. I can’t imagine that woman willingly giving up any kind of control. I’ve thought about seeing her again more times than I can count and each time, I imagine the two of us together, happily ever after and all that. However, I know I fucked up and that will never be. I just hope that during all this, that Delaney is the one who comes to represent the family, not her mother. Even though she might not accept it, I need to apologize to her. Tell her how I messed up and how she’s all I wanted. Hell, she’s still all I want. More and more each day as I watch the guys settle down, I think about her and what could have been.