Beyond the Bases

“It’s fine,” Reaching around Paisley, I place my hand on her shoulder. “A princess movie is fine with me.”

“Actually, it’s nap time,” Larissa says.

“Aww, Mom, do we have to? East just got here.”

“Yes, we do have to. You have practice tonight.”

“Okay. East, will you lie down with me?”

“Sure, kiddo.” I stand from the couch and stretch. When I turn around, Larissa’s eyes are on my waist where my shirt has lifted, and Paisley is holding her arms in the air for me to pick her up.

“You can walk, P,” Larissa reminds her.

“I know, but East is so, so tall. I like it when he carries me.”

“Where do princesses takes naps?” I ask her.

“In my room, silly,” she laughs.

“Oh, yeah, can you show me?” My eyes dart around the room, taking in their space. I can see so much of Larissa’s personality from the color on the walls to the pillows on the couch. There are baskets of toys in every corner, telling me this house is lived in. It’s a home. Something mine is missing.

She points down the hall and we head that way. When we get to her room, there are posters of all the Disney princesses on her walls. “That’s my daddy. He’s in heaven,” she says, pointing to a picture on her nightstand.

“You know what that means, right?”

“That he’s up there.” She points to the ceiling. “But I can’t see him. Momma says that’s not how it works.”

I swallow the lump in my throat. This little girl has my heart. “That’s right, but that also means that your daddy is now your guardian angel. Do you know what that is?”

“He’s an angel?” she whispers.

“He is. He’s looking over you. So no matter if you are having a good day or a bad day, he’s always watching you.”

“I wish I had a daddy here,” she says, hugging her unicorn shaped pillow to her chest. It takes everything in me not to tell her that I’ll be her daddy. Fuck, I’d be honored for her to call me Dad. “Will you read me a story, East?”

“How about I make one up?”

“Yes!” she cheers.

“Climb in,” I say, holding the covers back for her, thankful we’ve moved on to lighter conversation.

“When I get big, I’m not taking naps.”

“No? Naps are good for you. They give your body new energy so you can run and play.”

“Are you taking a nap too?”

“I took one on the plane,” I lie. It’s just a small white lie, but I need some time with her momma. “I promise to be here when you wake up.” I’m hoping Larissa doesn’t kick me out before then.

“Are you coming to my practice?”

“We’ll have to ask your mom and see if it’s okay.” I want to tell her I’ll be at every single practice I can make it to, but I know that’s crossing the line.

“Story,” she reminds me.

“Right. Once upon a time, there was this beautiful princess, her name was Clarissa.”

“That’s like my mommy’s name,” she points out.

“I know.” I wink at her.

“Clarissa and her daughter—”

She interrupts me before I can go on. “Paisley!” She giggles.

“Maisley,” I correct her, causing her to laugh. I have no idea if it’s a real name, but it rhymes with Paisley so I’m going with it. “Anyway, Maisley and her mom, Clarissa—”

She cuts me off again. “Maisley and her mommy, Clarissa, were living without a daddy,” she says, breaking my damn heart.

“Hey, whose story is this, mine or yours?”

“I’m helping. I’m so, so good at it,” she says.

“Okay, go on,” I say, even though I’m not sure my heart can take it. Not where this little girl is concerned.

“Maisley and her mommy didn’t have a daddy. One day, Maisley meets,” she stops. “What whimes with East?”

“Beast?” I ask, seeing the Beauty and the Beast poster on her wall.

“Yeah!” she says like it’s the best idea she’s ever heard. “One day, Maisley meets Beast, and he becomes her friend.”

“This story sounds awfully familiar,” I say, tapping the end of her nose.

“East, I’m telling a story. You’re ’posta stay quiet.”

“Sorry, carry on.” I hold my hands up in surrender.

“They play catch together, and take naps. Maisley loves her new friend so, so much, the end,” she says proudly.

Leaning in, I brush her hair back from her eyes. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Her eyes grow wide and she nods. “I love you, too,” I say, kissing the tip of her nose.

Her little arms fly around my neck and she squeezes me with all her might. “You’re my best friend,” she whispers.

I hold her a little tighter than I should with her size, but I need a minute for the emotions, the happiness, the love, the want, to flow through me. “All right you,” I say once I’ve composed myself. “It’s nap time. I’ll be here when you wake up.”