Tedious reports she’ll no doubt circle right back to the second I leave. I sigh. I should know better than to run to Malone, just like I should know better than to try to get around Monica to do it. I never show up like this, so of course she dropped everything in response. If I were wiser, I’d keep my own counsel, but I can’t help the messy feelings bubbling up inside me. “You’ve never lost your mind over a sub.”
She pauses, green eyes narrowed. “I know you didn’t come here to rib me about Aurora. I hardly call my reluctance to play with her the same thing as losing my mind.”
“That’s not what I meant. If I wanted to give you shit about her, I’m more than capable of doing it over the phone.” I stifle the urge to do exactly that. Malone is so icy with most people that it’s jaw-dropping to see someone get under her skin. Especially Aurora, who’s one of the sweetest and most unassuming subs in the Underworld. Oh, she’s gained some teeth and claws since taking over as Megaera’s second-in-command, but she’s still a nice girl. “What are you going to do about her?”
“Ursa.” Malone glares. “The only time you work this hard not to talk about something is if it’s really bothering you. What’s going on? Is it Alaric?” She tenses. “Shall I handle it?”
“Darling, I’m more than capable of handling my own problems.”
“And yet you’re here, talking to me instead of doing exactly that.”
She has me there and we both know it. I settle back against the couch with a sigh. “I have done unforgivable things to grasp and maintain power. I’ve had to work harder and be more vicious when I’m challenged than a white man would in my position. You understand that.”
“Yes,” Malone says slowly. “I fail to see what that has to do with anything. You haven’t gone and developed a conscience on me, have you?”
“No, of course not.” Except when I think of a conscience, it’s Zurielle’s face that appears in my mind. No matter what Alaric thinks, she’s got a moral center that we would damage if we tried to keep it. Trying to force the three of us to fit in a permanent way will only result in ruin. Why can’t he see that?
Why can’t he stop pushing until I’m ready to let him in?
“Ursa.” Malone’s tone goes as gentle as she’s capable of. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“Alaric wants to keep Zurielle.”
“He can fuck off, then.” Malone folds her hands on her knee. “He’s a wonderful submissive, but he’s a fuck boy and I’ve never understood what you saw in him that convinced you to go so far as dating him.”
I roll my eyes, a reluctant smile pulling at the edges of my lips. “Really, darling, don’t hold back on my account.” No one is holding back on my account today.
“Yes, yes, you have feelings for him.” She shakes her head as if she can’t understand it. One day Malone will be knocked fully off balance by someone, and I’ll enjoy every moment of watching it happen.
“He doesn’t want to leave me for her.” Things would be simpler if that were the case. He was never truly mine, not in full. Easier to lose him before I really had him… Or that’s what I try to tell myself. It doesn’t feel like the truth. “He wants us to keep her.”
“Oh.” Malone pauses. “So keep her.”
“Not you, too.” I slump back on the couch. “It’s not that simple.”
“It’s exactly that simple.” She’s looking at me like she’s never seen me before. “You have never had a problem taking what you want, Ursa. Even the girl; you had a plan to acquire her and so you did. I don’t understand why this is bothering you.”
I don’t entirely understand it, either. What do I care if staying with me damages Zurielle’s innocence? The world isn’t kind to the innocent. Only the strong survive, and she’d survive longer with me than without.
Except…
I sigh. “I care about her. I don’t want her to be damaged by being with me.”
Of all the responses, I don’t expect Malone to burst out laughing. She starts to speak and then erupts into laughter again, until she’s bent over and clutching her stomach.
It makes me want to shove her right off the couch. “I don’t see what’s so funny, you bitch.”
“You are so funny.” She gasps in a breath and manages to reclaim her normal icy calm…mostly. “Oh, gods, you are too much. I never thought I’d see the day where you get so twisted up over some little thing. Her pussy must be downright magical. You’ve only had her for two days.”
“Malone, be serious.”
“I am being serious.” She carefully wipes at the edges of her eyes with her black-tipped nails. “I’m sorry. You surprised me.”