“Your pep talk skills need work.”
“Do they? Because you look steadier on your feet than when you walked through my door.”
Damn her, but she’s right. I shake my head, a true smile pulling at my lips. Our brand of comfort might not work for everyone, but it works for us. “Come to the Underworld tonight and have a drink with me.”
Her smile warms a few degrees. “I’ll see you there.”
Monica manages to hold her peace until we’re in the car again. “Are we going home or do you have more procrastinating to do?”
“Gods save me from supportive friends.” I press my fingers to my temples. I could come up with half a dozen errands that need running, but the truth is that both Monica and Malone are right. I won’t figure this out by avoiding it. “No, take us home.”
“Yes, boss.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“You love it.” She grins at me in the rearview mirror. “That’s why you pay me the big bucks.”
“That and the fact you’re the best head of security in Carver City.”
“And the best shot.”
I smile. “And the best friend. I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t go getting sentimental on me, Ms. Sea Witch. You’ll make me ruin my makeup.”
We fall into an easy conversation the rest of the way back to my building. Monica has instituted a few personnel changes. She likes to rotate people through various positions to keep them from getting complacent or worse—bored. So far the process is working out wonderfully.
All the while I’m thinking about what my friends have said. And the fact that every one of my arguments has holes large enough to drive a semi through. It all boils down to one question—what’s truly stopping me from keeping Zurielle and letting Alaric in?
I walk into my penthouse and pause, listening. A sliver of unease courses through me when all I hear is silence. Surely Alaric didn’t take me at my word and run with Zurielle? The thought has me moving quickly to the spare bedroom, and I stop short in the doorway.
They’re on the bed together.
Sleeping.
Zurielle is on her side, her legs drawn up into fetal position as if she can make her already small body smaller. Alaric is at her back, a careful six inches between them, but there’s no missing the way he curls his body around hers protectively.
I watch them for a long moment, measuring the rise and fall of their chests, the way my chest feels just from observing the tableau they create. I have never once had a problem taking what I want up this point. Why am I so hesitant to take Zurielle in a permanent way?
I want Zurielle. That much is true. I take a deep breath and turn to walk down the hall and into my bedroom. I have been so incredibly careful to keep everyone at a distance, and these two are like a whirlpool pulling me in, a force I can no longer fight. I demand vulnerability and trust from my submissives—from Alaric and Zurielle—but maybe it’s time I gave a little trust in return. The thought has my chest tightening in response, but I carefully breathe through it. I can do this. It might feel like the hardest thing I’ve ever tried, but rationally I know it’s not true. If this blows up in my face, it’s only my heart that will bear the pain. No matter what else is true, neither Alaric nor Zurielle want me dead.
No one has ever died of a broken heart.
Surely I won’t be the first.Chapter 23ZurielleI didn’t mean to fall asleep, but the last few days keep catching up with me and knocking me on my ass. When I closed my eyes on the massive bed in the spare bedroom, I was alone. I’m not alone any longer. A male body is pressed against my back, his heavy arms wrapped around me like I’m his favorite teddy bear. Alaric. The steady rise and fall of his chest tells me that he’s sleeping still. Of course he’s here again, and of course we found each other in our sleep. Again. No matter how conflicted my heart is when it comes to this man, my body doesn’t have the same reservations.
I open my eyes to find Ursa lounging on the bed just out of reach, a laptop on her thighs and a pair of bright turquoise square glasses perched on her nose. She glances at me and keeps typing. “Good, you’re awake. You have a little time before we need to get ready.”
I shift, and Alaric’s arms tighten as if even in sleep he wants to keep me with him. “You left.”
“I needed to clear my head.” She clicks a few things on the laptop and shuts it carefully. “You left first, little Zurielle.” Her dark eyes take me in as if she can see right down to the very heart of me. “You don’t like the idea of what happens after this week is over.”